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2020.08.12 07:39 roflmao77 Talking points to use against liberandus and bullas (Long post)

I've compiled a few statistics and talking points over a few days that you guys can use whenever talking to these mlechhas.
ICM Poll: 20% of British Muslims sympathize with 7/7 bombers http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1510866/Poll-reveals-40pc-of-Muslims-want-sharia-law-in-UK.html
NOP Research: 1 in 4 British Muslims say 7/7 bombings were justified http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/08/14/opinion/main1893879.shtml&date=2011-04-06 http://www.webcitation.org/5xkMGAEvY
Channel Four (2006): 31% of younger British Muslims say 7/7 bombings were justified compared to 14% of those over 45. http://www.policyexchange.org.uk/images/publications/living%20apart%20together%20-%20jan%2007.pdf
People-Press: 31% of Turks support suicide attacks against Westerners in Iraq. http://people-press.org/report/206/a-year-after-iraq-war
YNet: One third of Palestinians (32%) supported the slaughter of a Jewish family, including the children: http://pajamasmedia.com/tatle2011/04/06/32-of-palestinians-support-infanticide/ http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-4053251,00.html
World Public Opinion: 83% of Egyptians approve of attacks on American troops. 26% of Indonesians approve of attacks on American troops. 26% of Pakistanis approve of attacks on American troops. 68% of Moroccans approve of attacks on American troops. 90% of Palestinians approve of attacks on American troops. 72% of Jordanians approve of attacks on American troops. 52% of Turks approve of some or most groups that attack Americans (39% oppose) A minority of Muslims disagreed entirely with terror attacks on American troops. About half of those opposed to attacking Americans were sympathetic with al-Qaeda’s attitude toward the U.S. http://www.worldpublicopinion.org/pipa/pdf/feb09/STARTII_Feb09_rpt.pdf
World Public Opinion (2009): 30% of Palestinians support attacks on American civilians working in Muslim countries. 24% support the murder of Americans on U.S. soil. Only 74% of Turks and 55% of Pakistanis disapprove of terror attacks against civilians on U.S. soil. http://www.worldpublicopinion.org/pipa/pdf/feb09/STARTII_Feb09_rpt.pdf
Pew Research (2010): 55% of Jordanians have a positive view of Hezbollah 30% of Egyptians have a positive view of Hezbollah 45% of Nigerian Muslims have a positive view of Hezbollah (26% negative) 43% of Indonesians have a positive view of Hezbollah (30% negative) http://pewglobal.org/2010/12/02/muslims-around-the-world-divided-on-hamas-and-hezbollah/
Pew Research (2010): 60% of Jordanians have a positive view of Hamas (34% negative). 49% of Egyptians have a positive view of Hamas (48% negative) 49% of Nigerian Muslims have a positive view of Hamas (25% negative) 39% of Indonesians have a positive view of Hamas (33% negative) http://pewglobal.org/2010/12/02/muslims-around-the-world-divided-on-hamas-and-hezbollah/
Pew Research (2010): 15% of Indonesians believe suicide bombings are often or sometimes justified. 34% of Nigerian Muslims believe suicide bombings are often or sometimes justified. http://pewglobal.org/2010/12/02/muslims-around-the-world-divided-on-hamas-and-hezbollah/
16% of young Muslims in Belgium state terrorism is "acceptable". http://www.hln.be/hln/nl/1275/Islam/article/detail/1619036/2013/04/22/Zestien-procent-moslimjongens-vindt-terrorisme-aanvaardbaar.dhtml
Populus Poll (2006): 12% of young Muslims in Britain (and 12% overall) believe that suicide attacks against civilians in Britain can be justified. 1 in 4 support suicide attacks against British troops. http://www.danielpipes.org/blog/2005/07/more-survey-research-from-a-british-islamist
Pew Research (2007): 26% of younger Muslims in America believe suicide bombings are justified. 35% of young Muslims in Britain believe suicide bombings are justified (24% overall). 42% of young Muslims in France believe suicide bombings are justified (35% overall). 22% of young Muslims in Germany believe suicide bombings are justified.(13% overall). 29% of young Muslims in Spain believe suicide bombings are justified.(25% overall). https://selectra.co.uk/sites/selectra.co.uk/files/pdf/muslim-americans.pdf#page=60
Pew Research (2011): 8% of Muslims in America believe suicide bombings are often or sometimes justified (81% never). 28% of Egyptian Muslims believe suicide bombings are often or sometimes justified (38% never). http://www.people-press.org/2011/08/30/muslim-americans-no-signs-of-growth-in-alienation-or-support-for-extremism/
Pew Research (2007): Muslim-Americans who identify more strongly with their religion are three times more likely to feel that suicide bombings are justified https://selectra.co.uk/sites/selectra.co.uk/files/pdf/muslim-americans.pdf#page=60
27% of British Muslims do not support the deportation of Islamic extremists preaching violence and hate. http://www.danielpipes.org/blog/2005/07/more-survey-research-from-a-british-islamist.html
Federation of Student Islamic Societies: About 1 in 5 Muslim students in Britain (18%) would not report a fellow Muslim planning a terror attack. http://www.danielpipes.org/blog/2005/07/more-survey-research-from-a-british-islamist
ICM Poll: 25% of British Muslims disagree that a Muslim has an obligation to report terrorists to police. http://www.danielpipes.org/blog/2005/07/more-survey-research-from-a-british-islamist
Populus Poll (2006): 16% of British Muslims believe suicide attacks against Israelis are justified. 37% believe Jews in Britain are a "legitimate target". http://www.danielpipes.org/blog/2005/07/more-survey-research-from-a-british-islamist
World Public Opinion: Majorities in Egypt (63%) and Libya (61%) supported the 9/11/2012 attacks against American embassies, including Benghazi. Original Link: http://www.worldpublicopinion.org/pipa/articles/brunitedstatescanadara/727.php?nid=&id=&pnt=727 (Removed) (Reference in this link)
Pew Research (2013): At least 1 in 4 Muslims do not reject violence against civilians (study did not distinguish between those who believe it is partially justified and never justified). http://www.pewforum.org/uploadedFiles/Topics/Religious_Affiliation/Muslim/worlds-muslims-religion-politics-society-full-report.pdf
Pew Research (2013): 15% of Muslims in Turkey support suicide bombings (also 11% in Kosovo, 26% in Malaysia and 26% in Bangladesh). http://www.pewforum.org/uploadedFiles/Topics/Religious_Affiliation/Muslim/worlds-muslims-religion-politics-society-full-report.pdf
PCPO (2014): 89% of Palestinians support Hamas and other terrorists firing rockets at Israeli civilians. http://www.jihadwatch.org/2014/08/poll-89-of-palestinians-support-jihad-terror-attacks-on-israely
Pew Research (2013): Only 57% of Muslims worldwide disapprove of al-Qaeda. Only 51% disapprove of the Taliban. 13% support both groups and 1 in 4 refuse to say. http://www.pewglobal.org/2013/09/10/muslim-publics-share-concerns-about-extremist-groups/
BBC Radio (2015): 45% of British Muslims agree that clerics preaching violence against the West represent "mainstream Islam". http://www.comres.co.uk/polls/bbc-radio-4-today-muslim-poll/
Palestinian Center for Political Research (2015): 74% of Palestinians support Hamas terror attacks. http://www.timesofisrael.com/support-for-hamas-skyrockets-following-war-poll-shows/
Pew Research (2014): 47% of Bangladeshi Muslims says suicide bombings and violence are justified to "defend Islam". 1 in 4 believed the same in Tanzania and Egypt. 1 in 5 Muslims in the 'moderate' countries of Turkey and Malaysia. http://www.pewglobal.org/2014/07/01/concerns-about-islamic-extremism-on-the-rise-in-middle-east/
The Polling Company CSP Poll (2015): 19% of Muslim-Americans say that violence is justified in order to make Sharia the law in the United States (66% disagree). http://www.centerforsecuritypolicy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/150612-CSP-Polling-Company-Nationwide-Online-Survey-of-Muslims-Topline-Poll-Data.pdf
The Polling Company CSP Poll (2015): 25% of Muslim-Americans say that violence against Americans in the United States is justified as part of the "global Jihad (64% disagree). http://www.centerforsecuritypolicy.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/150612-CSP-Polling-Company-Nationwide-Online-Survey-of-Muslims-Topline-Poll-Data.pdf
The Sun (2015: Following Nov. 2015 attacks in Paris, 1 in 4 young Muslims in Britain (and 1 in 5 overall) said they sympathize with those who fight for ISIS. http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/politics/6758207/1-in-5-British-Muslims-have-sympathy-for-jihadis-in-poll.html (link removed)
ICM (2016): 2 in 3 Muslims in Britain would not report terror plot to police. http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/659913/two-in-three-British-Muslims-would-NOT-give-police-terror-tip-offs http://www.haaretz.com/world-news/europe/1.713917
East West University (Bangladesh) (2016): 1 in 10 Bangladeshi university students support terrorism. Of these, more than half (52%) are from well-off families. http://bdnews24.com/bangladesh/2016/11/21/study-finds-10-percent-students-in-bangladesh-universities-support-terrorismupport-terrorism" target="_blank"> http://bdnews24.com/bangladesh/2016/11/21/study-finds-10-percent-students-in-bangladesh-universities-support-terrorism
Policy Exchange (2016): 48% if British Muslims would not report a person "linked to terror." https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/2308529/half-british-muslims-would-not-report-is-supporters/
(German) Federal Ministry for Family Affairs (2018) - 8% of Muslim students support the creation of an Islamic State via terrorism. https://voiceofeurope.com/2018/01/german-study-almost-one-in-three-muslim-students-would-fight-and-die-for-islam/ https://www.welt.de/politik/deutschland/article172327527/Kriminalitaetsstudie-Islamistische-Tendenzen-im-Klassenzimmer.html
Policy and Survey Research (2019) - 61% of Palestinians approve of bomb attack on Jewish family that killed teen girl. https://www.jihadwatch.org/2019/09/61-of-palestinians-approve-of-jihad-murder-of-israeli-teen
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2020.07.27 17:26 pahohi1327JJul When Should a Christian Start Da-ting ?

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2020.07.27 13:22 adopt27JJul What Should Christian Da-ting Look Like ?

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2020.07.27 13:13 blind27JJul What is the Number One Da-ting A-pp ?

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2020.07.26 18:46 Bago26JJJulOly Fre H-d Si-s-ter Po-rn

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2020.07.23 14:12 sugardaddyseeking Top 10 Dating Tips For Online Sugar Daddy Dating

Top 10 Dating Tips For Online Sugar Daddy Dating
How do you meet someone on a sugar daddy dating site?
There are many ways to have success with meeting a quality sugar daddy or sugar baby. Sugar Daddy Dating is so popular now; just check out a Google Search and you will see what I mean! There are lots of sugar babies looking for rich men to take care of them and lost of sugar daddies looking for young, attractive women as girlfriends and companions. What once was taboo to talk about is being discusses on sugar daddy dating sites, blogs, and being featured on TV.

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1. Research
If you are inexperienced it is okay if you are a little nervous if you are new to the sugar daddy lifestyle. So many people are interested in being a sugar daddy or sugar baby with the popularity of sugar daddies all over the TV and Internet. Read a beginners guide to learn the ins and outs of getting into the swing of things. Online dating and Sugar daddy dating go hand in hand. Currently there is the only book written to address this subject. Also, there are several TV interviews on YouTube and other websites that feature sugar daddy and sugar baby examples. Some of these people have appeared on 20/20, Dr. Phil show, the O' Reilly Factor, and other shows. Some of the examples are not realistic for the novice but will give you a good idea what the lifestyle has to offer.
2. Dating Profile Introductions
Your introduction should be friendly and grab the attention. Here is a good example: Hi, my name is Carrie, like Sex in the City (wink). This is good dating introduction. Its friendly, sexy, identifies with a popular show and movie, sounds confident, and will definitely attract a good guy online. Take a look at other sugar daddy dating profiles to get an idea of what people are saying. Be yourself and be interesting. Since this is not mainstream dating like on Match.com you can be sexy and more direct in saying what you like in a relationship. That doesn't mean for you to be pornographic and vulgar since that will turn off most people.
3. Be Safe When Dating Online
When sharing information online, do not give address or personal info. Get to know someone first before you date them and invite them to your home. Online dating is great for meeting people, but sometimes with sugar daddy dating, crazy people come out of the woodwork. Use common sense with online dating. You should be safe first before you give or receive the sugar!
4. Dating Profiles Should be Accurate
How many times have you clicked on a profile and seen a picture that was grainy and looked like it was an old snap shot from 1980's? Then when you meet a sugar daddy or sugar baby and they are 20 lbs. overweight, older than stated, ugly, no hair, looking nothing like the picture in the profile. I have even heard cases where people use another person's picture on their profile just to meet people! Use current pictures, NO Photoshop. Dating is hard enough as it is, don't fool your date into thinking you are Brad Pitt or Halle Berry. Men typically like to date attractive sugar babies. Ladies should look good and emphasize their other attributes, you don't have to look perfect but sugar daddies don't want someone obese either.
5. Respond to Ads The Right Way
When responding to dating ads make sure to be friendly and to personalize your responses based on the profile. Don't copy and paste a letter. Reference some information in the dating profile that appeals to you. If you share common interests then point that out, too. If a dating ad stands out then that means that sugar daddy or sugar baby is getting bombarded with lots of emails. You need to respond in a way to get their immediate attention.
6. Have Realistic Expectations
Competition is stiff to find a real sugar daddy or sugar baby. There are many time wasters, cyber pen pals that will come your way when using online dating. Know that if you are a guy and want a Playboy type model to be your sugar baby then she will not be cheap. She will want a large allowance, maybe $10,000 allowance plus shopping and trips. However, you can get a young college girl that will only expect help with books and paying her inexpensive rent. Ladies, if you are not a professional model or exceptionally beautiful, then do not expect to have the world handed to you on a silver platter. Be prepared to get some money for hair and nails, some gift certificates and a modest monthly allowance.
7. Don't be Flaky
Show up for dates on time, follow through on arrangements, don't be mean, set boundaries, and respect the other person's privacy. Nothing shows class better than a sugar baby and sugar daddy that dates in an upscale and worthy manner.
8. Realize That Many People Play Games
There are many people on sugar daddy sites that are not real so you have to be careful. It is common to have Nigerian scammers put up fake profiles seeking men to send money. There are also men that have no money wan to be fake sugar daddies to sugar babies. Ask questions to see if someone is real. Do they work? Are they reluctant to talk on the phone? Do they have excuses about not meeting right away? Does their information check out? If you get red flags just walk away and look for someone else to date. It may be a lot of sifting through dating sites and dating profiles, but you will get better results by being selective. Understand that in this type of dating it will attract tons of game players that have nothing better to do than to waste your time.
9. Know What You Want
If you are single and don't want something serious make that clear upfront. If you are married person let that be known right away because not everyone wants to date an attached person. If you want to date several people at one time then make that known since some in the sugar daddy lifestyle want one-on-one relationships.
10. Join a Support Group
There are many groups out there to share experiences in the sugar daddy lifestyle. It is great to be able to ask common dating questions, where to go meet sugar daddies and sugar babies, feedback on dating profiles, people to check on you when you go on dates, someone to be a sugar daddy buddy or sugar baby friend. You may even meet a sugar baby or sugar daddy in a sugar daddy support groups. Yahoo has several Yahoo groups dedicated to the sugar daddy lifestyle and there are many sugar baby blogs on Blogger and other blog sites. Also check for sugar groups on MySpace.
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2020.07.23 04:14 EtherealHire It's A Twofer Kinda Night

Guess who's back. Back again.
Yeah, it's me. I felt like fucking with something again, so here goes. What follows is a short primer and a slightly modified version of the existing netsec page. I'd like to think about folding it into a general persec page, including netsec, though of course this isn't necessary. There are tools that I, not a sysadmin nor particular expert, view to be outdated here, and I have proposed cuts and swaps.
I am also by no means an expert on computer security, so have left most of the tools on the page intact and changed very little on that front. I know what works for me, but without sitting around paying a pentester to try to wreck my shit I don't actually know how effective it is. If you are an expert, I could certainly use some help here. Note also that this is a start, a work in progress, and ideally I'd like to expand into a general security section, perhaps splitting off to various pages in their own right.
Let's get after it, comrades.

What is Persec?

Persec is short for personal security. In communities that practice security or do intelligence, or both, most things are shortened into such portmanteaus, and it's useful to learn them. Persec regards guarding your personal information (ie, who you are, where you're from, what you did...) from anyone who doesn't need to know. To what degree you do this is entirely your prerogative.

Why should I care about security at all?

Well, you are presumably a leftist, and may or may not be aware, but the US Government as well as other groups and orgs do not have a good history with regard to treatment of leftists or marginalized people. See Fred Hampton, or the FBI smear campaign against MLK, for two immediate examples. In addition to that, you don't send your bank info to the Nigerian Prince emailing you, do you? Same thing; you're just consciously aware of that threat.

So What Kind of Information Should I Guard?

All of it. If it is not intrinsically necessary for what you are doing, do not give the information. This is nuanced. Perhaps your date is asking about the neighborhood you live in. This isn't necessary, but you will weigh the risks vs the benefits of talking about it and/or seeming rude or overly paranoid for not talking about it.
In addition, you should be aware that you give away a lot automatically on a regular basis. Facial recognition software nails you everywhere you walk around, and a constant stream of selfies into any social media will be sold to people who will use them to help augment the success rate of that software. See Facebook auto finding faces and auto tagging your friends for you? Maybe it seems innocuous there, but who are they selling it to?
Unlock your phone with your face or fingerprint? Law enforcement has that data, almost guaranteed.
Fill out a fun survey? Dope, thanks for the street you grew up on in that nostalgia question. Nice, Greenwood Elementary as a school, and oh wow Ms. Applebaum was your favorite teacher? No way, my first pet was a Jack Russel named Roger too! Boy oh boy do I love that song by 3OH!3 too, just like it's your favorite! Maybe not all of those were there, but you may be throwing common security question answers all over the place. You are also giving this stuff to innumerable third parties via cookies and other other means, allowing them to store and sell that data in turn. You do it when you give your email for that retail store rewards program too. Every purchase, logged, used to target you with ads or services.

What Do I Do?

Well, you could move into the Alaskan wilderness, grow a long beard, and rough it in a primitive frontier cabin. That'd minimize your profile and data footprint for sure.
You could also ignore this. Give up anything and everything.
But likely you will pick something between those two points. There are two ways to do it while still being online: hiding and obfuscating.
Hiding would be using anonymizing services like Tor or a VPN, blocking Javascript using NoScript, giving up Facebook, etc.
Obfuscating would be pretending to be that which you are not, hiding in plain sight. Changing everything to appear that you're on a Thinkpad running Linux instead of a Chromebook by shown software/hardware signatures and MAC address, choosing an IP address in a techie Bay Area district, and using a fake photo from thispersondoesnotexist.com to complete the persona. There are more steps necessary there but that will help with non state-level data collection and analysis.
Regardless which method or methods you choose, you must also remain who you actually are, and publicly so. Maybe you got rid of Facebook because that's just the smart thing to do, but if you've got a Twitter habit, keep it and don't cross the streams. Never log into your Twitter from the spoofed persona, nor should your fake persona ever inhabit the same session (or even hardware) to your real persona. This is easiest done with a live boot disc like TAILS on a hunk-a-junk craigslist laptop you buy in cash.

This seems complicated.

It is. Security culture, in the world and online, is a constantly evolving thing, and takes keeping tabs on and learning about, and a lot of dry reading and head pounding.
There are a few overall resources that can help.
The Free Software Foundation
The Electronic Frontier Foundation
Richard Stallman
The GNU Project

Tools

This is a list of tools and tips to keep data secure. The information presented is currently aimed at Windows users but includes information relating to data security for Linux, Mac, and mobile users. As you spend time learning about privacy, privacy tools, and security, you will start learning what works and why, but this is a general jump-off point. Also, note that Windows 10 contains a frankly ridiculous amount of phone-home capability, and is selling you out every second you use it. Make the switch to a user-friendly Linux distro and your privacy will thank you. linux4noobs
For other opsec information, please see our Communications section on this page. To discuss the information here or make suggestions, please see the talk page.
A brief note on these tools: Comodo Security Solutions is a private firm offering some of these products. In the digital world, a for-profit enterprise exists to make money on a product. If you are not paying for a product from a for-profit venture, then you are the product. Additionally, a Wikipedia skim shows how full of shit they are. I've left them in this post because they previously existed there but strongly disagree with continuing to leave them up, so am striking all of them.

E-mail

Encryption

  • PGP - Usually used to encrypt e-mails, but also encrypts physical data on your hard drive.
  • OpenVPN - VPN software using SSL/TLS for key exchanges.
  • Bitvise - An SSH client for Windows users.
  • TCPcrypt - A protocol that attempts to encrypt (almost) all of your network traffic.
  • VeraCrypt - Comprehensive, on-the-fly disk encryption.
  • Protected Folder - Not encryption software, but allows you to password protect folders and files. Protected folders are invisible unless PF is opened and they are unlocked with the password.

Firewalls

Browsers

Browser extensions, Add-ons, etc.

  • HTTPS Everywhere - Forces all website connections to be HTTPS. Developed by the Electronic Frontier Foundation.
  • AdBlock
  • Adblock for YouTube
  • Ublock Origin
  • NoScript - "Pre-emptively blocks malicious scripts and allows JavaScript, Java and other potentially dangerous content only from sites you trust."
  • Safescript - The Chrome equivalent of NoScript
  • Ghostery
  • DuckDuckGo - "The search engine that doesn't track you. A superior search experience with smarter answers, less clutter and real privacy."

Additional Information

DNS

Virtual Machines

IRC

iPhone

See this page on our wiki for information specific to iPhone users.

Other Resources

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2020.07.18 17:31 Bago18JulOly Na-ked Fat Girl Por-n

Na-ked Fat Girl Por-n
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2020.07.18 16:33 18Jlulenergetic Tiny Wom-an Big Di-ck Por-n

Tiny Wom-an Big Di-ck Por-n
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2020.06.17 16:01 autotldr U.S. charges 6 Nigerians with defrauding $6M from Americans

This is the best tl;dr I could make, original reduced by 62%. (I'm a bot)
June 16 - The United States on Tuesday blacklisted and charged six Nigerian nationals who blinked some $6 million from Americas by posing as either business executives or romantic partners online.
The Treasury Department said the six Nigerian men either targeted U.S. businesses by impersonating executives and requested wire transfers from legitimate corporate accounts or they used dating sites to foster romantic relationships with Americans to request large sums of money under false pretenses.
Two others involved in the scheme - Adewale Aniyeloye and Onome Ijomone - earlier entered plea deals and were sentenced in the District of Nebraska to eight years in jail for wire fraud and five years in jail for conspiracy to commit wire fraud, respectively, prosecutors said.
"The business employees, thinking that the wire transfer requests were legitimate, would comply with the wire transfer request and wire the money to the location provided in the wiring instructions," the indictments said.
"As technological advancement increasingly offers malicious actors tools that can be used for online attacks and schemes, the United States will continue to protect and defend at-risk Americans and businesses."
U.S. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo said technological advancements provide greater interconnectivity but also opens Americans to malicious attacks, and that they will work to protect U.S. citizens from becoming victims.
Summary Source FAQ Feedback Top keywords: wire#1 U.S#2 State#3 American#4 victim#5
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2020.05.18 12:41 fractalfay That’s because you’re a beautiful soul. RECAP of BT90D S04E13

Welcome back to another recrap of BT90D: the season where all the best characters are moms, children, cats, or dogs. One of the last couples standing is Baby Girl Lisa and Baby Love Usman, who is starting to think being the master of Nigerian hip hop is good enough for him. Last episode, Lisa was shocked to learn she needs evidence of her divorce before she can get started on her second one. This is clearly Usman’s fault, since she left him in charge of The Google.
So now Lisa unfurls her smoker’s rasp on an unsuspecting York, PA court clerk, while demonstrating her four varieties of pursed lips: the Mitch McConnell, the thirsty lizard, the Metamucil, and the Newport Softpack. The clerk attempts to explain bureaucracy and paperwork, and Lisa demands to know if they can do The Email, unless Hillary Clinton has them stored in her basement with pizza. The clerk decides to make an exception for the sake of escaping this phone call, and low and behold, Lisa’s latest two-hour tantrum shows itself to be a two-minute problem. Usman showers her with kisses, while we all astral project to our respective safe spaces, and then Lisa heads for a bath, her tongue darting in and out to best detect the presence of water.
Two short hours after this non-existent obstacle is overcome, Lisa puts her sweatband back on to race towards the next empty-headed hurdle. She and Usman go out for a little alcohol and accusations, and Lisa claims she saw Usman’s phone, and you know what that means: fee-males. She says he’s been texting back and forth with a WHORE who claims to love him, and she wants to know if she needs to unfurl a Geoffrey-level cyber stalk so her criminal file can catch a few more pages. Lisa took pictures of his phone with her phone, and with this binder full of evidence, she’s ready to assault Usman with a word salad she’s made from Waiting to Exhale, Beyonce, and reruns of The Wire.
Lisa: You think you’re a wannabe player, but it kinda looks like you’re succeeding. Damn. Who runs the world? Girls.
Usman: Why would I only have one fish on the line when I am a fisherman?
Lisa: This is the bitch that put a sad emoji on your post about me. Do you know what that means? It means unhappiness, Usman. Are you listening?
Usman: I’m not listening.
Lisa: She said I love you, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
Usman: Someone with an inbox?
Lisa: Darnell! I need a new bedroom set!
Usman: I only say I love you because that is something I say. Have you heard my song? That is my thing.
Lisa: You come at the King, you best not miss.
Usman: Oooo! Omar! That’s Omar, right? Yes, HBO!
Lisa: I got 50 men in the states I can marry.
Usman: No one believes this.
Lisa: Block these fee-males and clean up this page tonight. A musician doesn’t need fans to perform in a gazebo in York.
Usman: I’ve made a mistake.
Lisa: I’ve been playing this game longer than you’ve been alive, and it doesn’t matter that my game is dusty and on layaway, because I believe that’s match point.
Usman: How can I trust you keeping score when you count the number zero as 50?
Lisa storms off and tells him to go back to his goat, who is a more consistent and nurturing romantic partner than Lisa anyway. Usman decides to finish his drink and maybe text a few backburner ladies in the meantime, while Lisa slows her gait hoping that he suddenly feels inspired to sprint after her. Eventually he realizes he’s going to have to reduce the heat on this evening’s meltdown, and he asks her to come back to the table and talk about this. She flounces back, declaring, “I can’t wait to be back in the land of the fucking free, and decent fucking people.” Yep, Lisa is definitely holding up a picket sign outside of a Costco to demand freedom from the tyranny of face masks, before she calls the checkout clerk an asshole for not having the gallon sized containers of jam, because China.
Usman declares that he will not be commanded by her except when he is, which is all the time. He tells her the same shit about emails from fans he told her six episodes ago, and Lisa makes Mitch McConnell face, and says she’s afraid he’s going to cheat on her, like the 50+ “decent” men back in the states who totally want to marry her. Lisa declares herself confident that she’s put Usman “in his place” which she’ll continue to file in the win column long after he’s moved on.
Speaking of doomed, somewhere in Australia, Avery wakes up with Ash, who she rode all the way to bone town as their relationship wilted in the wind. Ash comes out in a towel to further underscore the foundation of their relationship, which seems a good deal better than a pay-to-play dating ap or a plastic youtube star on the hunt for subscribers.
Avery brings up her conversation with Sian the day before, and Ash gets nervous, because Sian has all the tea, but has too much integrity to traumatize a child by sharing it. Ash gives the same reason for their delayed divorce that Sian provided, and Avery rushes to toss him a biscuit for being on the same page before he can talk his foot into his mouth. Ash mumbles something about not wanting negativity, and Avery writes a tshirt for the entire self-help movement: “There is a difference between creating negativity and being real with reality.” Avery, are you sure you belong on this show? I mean, it’s considered reality tv, but we don’t really mean it.
This brief foray into truth gives Avery enough ammo to work very, very hard to mute the marching band of red flags that flashed in sync last episode. She pivots to the bigger issue, taking Taj to the US of A, which Ash insists is something Sian “initially” agreed to, but yeah, no. Avery has a solution that she culled from her conversation with Sian, and suggests that perhaps Ash could visit her three months out of the year, and devote the rest of his time to raising Taj. Ash supports this plan with a double actually. Avery is equally stoked, since they managed to talk without Ash accusing her of gnawing his face with verbal vomit.
Beef squashed, they head out to pick up Taj so they can throw rocks at ducks in a park, like a family. Ash declares that Taj has the superhuman ability to identify a car by sound alone, and summons an example from a recent outing. Taj corrects him that he was able to identify the car because he saw it, which officially earns Taj a place next to Mother Usman and Mother Erika in Camp Awesome.
“My dad exaggerates everything. It’s kind of his thing,” Taj explains. “Pointing out these exaggerations is kind of my thing. It’s going to get worse when I’m a teenager. By worse, I mean better.” Taj is right.
Avery reflects on her fantasy about combining their families, including her daughter Sailboat (Silver? Whatever, I like Sailboat better) and just to underscore the point they flash a photo of the gorgeous child. Avery says she realizes she has to go home soon and she’s going to miss Ash, and hey, way to be in an actual relationship.
In Donzo, Thailand, Ed flip-flops back to his hotel room, assuming that Rose will still be there, warming his basket of prophylactics in her armpit, eager to embrace a mealy-mouthed self-serving whiny warbling pouty-lip apology. Rose, however, knows that “I’m done” means “goodbye” and has noped the fuck out before Ed tries to grope-hug her or hand her another hygiene product. Now Ed is left to decide for himself whether to pack or wear his bright orange sneakers onto the plane, while feeling sorry for himself and fully ignoring that whole part of the narrative where he’s a compulsive liar.
Hey guys, Steph is here to further rationalize tossing Erika for withholding crucial ex data. Erika, on the other hand, has to deal with the fact that real-life Stephanie is a completely different person from the girl she got to know online, who was fun and flirty and sexual. I imagine this must feel like falling in love with someone, and then they just disappear.
Erika drives three hours for a conversation that could have been a phone call. As Erika sits down Stephanie declares an intention to end on a positive note, and begins rationalizing her behavior. Erika isn’t sure about being on good terms, and explains that after months of gooing over the possibility of a shared life, Stephanie broke up with her just like that. Erika calls her out about figuring out her shit before playing with someone’s heart, and reminds Steph that if she had issues with her friendships, her exes, her sexual history, she could have voiced all of this prior to boarding a plane. She’s got Stephanie’s number, and knows she was just used for a tv show.
Stephanie asks if theres anything else to talk about, and Erika says no, and that she just wants to forget everything, but she can’t, because her family and friends have met Stephanie and are going to ask about her. Steph counters that she has to go home and be upset and not tell anyone, except she will, she just can’t let Erika have any pain she doesn’t try to trump.
Erika seems genuinely heartbroken. Stephanie seems like she doesn’t want to miss her plane.
Erika returns to her parents’ house, and sits down to give her wonder-mom an update on her relationship with Stephanie. Erika leaves out the whole part where she concealed a 10-year on/off relationship, and says she feels like it’s always her giving so much.
“That’s because of your beautiful soul, Erika,” Mother Erika says. Then Erika says that Steph is not ready for any kind of relationship (facts), and Mother Erika brings the warmth with: “You will find someone who sees you for who you are.” Mom goes on to say that this relationship was not for nothing, and she’s so glad Erika could come and talk with her about everything.
I feel a twinge. Does anyone else feel a twinge? I think it’s a feeling. Great, now they’re plural, and can breed.
Erika is still glad she told her mom that shes bi, even though things went south with Stephanie. Her mother repeats that she just wants Erika to be happy and appreciated, and then her mom hugs her because OF COURSE SHE DOES THAT BETTER NOT BE A THIRD FEELING.
We haven’t had nearly enough footage of folks staring at their phones in confusion, so here’s Yolanda to fill that hole in our souls. Yep, that’s a phone all right. Maybe she can take a photo of it and send it to Lisa for verification. Yep, those are text messages. Looking at her phone in her living room. Totally different from everyone’s daily experience.
If this show has jumped the shark, David drove the boat, and Yolanda strapped on the water skis.
Oh yes, David. After years of shoveling dollar after dollar into a paid dating site for the privilege of interacting with his girlfriend of seven years, David is ready to embrace his beloved, and for the first time in five attempts, Lana has shown up. David does him MmmMMmm so that she’ll recognize him. Lana just looks confused.
90DF does one of those 24 hour flashbacks they love, so we can see Lana working out at the gym with guidance from Anfisa’s Red Bag Fitness Fight. Then she shops for makeup. Couldn’t David have found someone with an identical set of priorities on the average sugar baby site? Lana expresses to the producers that she never expected to meet a foreigner like David on a website for foreigners. Then she heads to a coffee shop, which is a great place to be busy with your nephew’s hockey tournaments. While she’s sitting there, a friend calls, and Lana reports that she’s planning to meet a 60 year-old American who lives in Vegas and is paid well, and the friend says, “Oooo I hear they have a short life expectancy there!”
Back in the weird Kiev present:
David: I cant believe it!
Lana: What?
David: I can’t believe it!
Lana: Why?
David busts out the translator ap, and then tells the English-speaking 90DF producers the English translation. It’s like David is the translator’s hype man. They exchange a single statement before David swaddles Lana, who leaves her arms firmly at her sides. Lana flatly reports that she feels he’s her soul mate, sort of, if no one else is around and she doesn’t have surgery that day. She also notes he’s more attractive than she expected. We’ve been watching this show a long time, and yes, David is a 90DF 10. David looks happy at last, years of age melting down his face that will be back in place come the Zoom nightmare reunion.
And that miserable reunion makes me think of Darcey. Sigh. She’s hanging out with her daughters, putting on face masks while they compliment her, and declare that she looks like she came out of a Barbie factory, to which the other daughter says, “Mom IS Barbie.” Are you two battling for supremacy in the last will and testament? Whatever, it’s nice, they’re nice, everything is nice, and Darcey is back to seeking support from mychildrenaremyworld.
Wondering about Tom? No one is wondering about Tom. He’s still trying to score his brown shoes a few more minutes of screen time, by making mopey face and trying to sell his imaginary investment in Darcey. He meets up with his friend Hammy, who is unimpressed with Tom’s romantic scrambled egg, and he reminds Tom that karma is a bitch, because we haven’t heard enough trite catchphrases that double as 90s songs this episode. Tom tells Hammy he kind of wants to milk a third season from Darcey’s teet, and Hammy declares that Tom will probably want Darcey back at some point, or maybe just the teet. I see what you’re doing, Tom and Hammy, and we are not watching a 45 degree haircut in a jacket for another 15 episodes. Then Tom does the other thing he does, which is take his wheeled luggage for a walk around the airport.
Next week: Stephanie comes out to her mom after the fact (come ON with this storyline, it’s on a tv show, mom is going to see it), and Ash tells Avery she’s not a short-term project, because romance. Teddy the dog returns and unfortunately brings Ed, Lisa reminds us the definition of “done” is lost on her, and Lana learns that David hired a private investigator so his red flags could chase hers all over Eastern Europe, until COVID-19 granted her the safety and excuses that color every hustler’s dreams.
Thank you, Patreon supporters!
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2020.05.18 12:22 fractalfay That’s because of your beautiful soul: recap of Before the 90 Days S04E13

Welcome back to another recrap of BT90D: the season where all the best characters are moms, children, cats, or dogs. One of the last couples standing is Baby Girl Lisa and Baby Love Usman, who is starting to think being the master of Nigerian hip hop is good enough for him. Last episode, Lisa was shocked to learn she needs evidence of her divorce before she can get started on her second one. This is clearly Usman’s fault, since she left him in charge of The Google.
So now Lisa unfurls her smoker’s rasp on an unsuspecting York, PA court clerk, while demonstrating her four varieties of pursed lips: the Mitch McConnell, the thirsty lizard, the Metamucil, and the Newport Softpack. The clerk attempts to explain bureaucracy and paperwork, and Lisa demands to know if they can do The Email, unless Hillary Clinton has them stored in her basement with pizza. The clerk decides to make an exception for the sake of escaping this phone call, and low and behold, Lisa’s latest two-hour tantrum shows itself to be a two-minute problem. Usman showers her with kisses, while we all astral project to our respective safe spaces, and then Lisa heads for a bath, her tongue darting in and out to best detect the presence of water.
Two short hours after this non-existent obstacle is overcome, Lisa puts her sweatband back on to race towards the next empty-headed hurdle. She and Usman go out for a little alcohol and accusations, and Lisa claims she saw Usman’s phone, and you know what that means: fee-males. She says he’s been texting back and forth with a WHORE who claims to love him, and she wants to know if she needs to unfurl a Geoffrey-level cyber stalk so her criminal file can catch a few more pages. Lisa took pictures of his phone with her phone, and with this binder full of evidence, she’s ready to assault Usman with a word salad she’s made from Waiting to Exhale, Beyonce, and reruns of The Wire.
Lisa: You think you’re a wannabe player, but it kinda looks like you’re succeeding. Damn. Who runs the world? Girls.
Usman: Why would I only have one fish on the line when I am a fisherman?
Lisa: This is the bitch that put a sad emoji on your post about me. Do you know what that means? It means unhappiness, Usman. Are you listening?
Usman: I’m not listening.
Lisa: She said I love you, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
Usman: Someone with an inbox?
Lisa: Darnell! I need a new bedroom set!
Usman: I only say I love you because that is something I say. Have you heard my song? That is my thing.
Lisa: You come at the King, you best not miss.
Usman: Oooo! Omar! That’s Omar, right? Yes, HBO!
Lisa: I got 50 men in the states I can marry.
Usman: No one believes this.
Lisa: Block these fee-males and clean up this page tonight. A musician doesn’t need fans to perform in a gazebo in York.
Usman: I’ve made a mistake.
Lisa: I’ve been playing this game longer than you’ve been alive, and it doesn’t matter that my game is dusty and on layaway, because I believe that’s match point.
Usman: How can I trust you keeping score when you count the number zero as 50?
Lisa storms off and tells him to go back to his goat, who is a more consistent and nurturing romantic partner than Lisa anyway. Usman decides to finish his drink and maybe text a few backburner ladies in the meantime, while Lisa slows her gait hoping that he suddenly feels inspired to sprint after her. Eventually he realizes he’s going to have to reduce the heat on this evening’s meltdown, and he asks her to come back to the table and talk about this. She flounces back, declaring, “I can’t wait to be back in the land of the fucking free, and decent fucking people.” Yep, Lisa is definitely holding up a picket sign outside of a Costco to demand freedom from the tyranny of face masks, before she calls the checkout clerk an asshole for not having the gallon sized containers of jam, because China.
Usman declares that he will not be commanded by her except when he is, which is all the time. He tells her the same shit about emails from fans he told her six episodes ago, and Lisa makes Mitch McConnell face, and says she’s afraid he’s going to cheat on her, like the 50+ “decent” men back in the states who totally want to marry her. Lisa declares herself confident that she’s put Usman “in his place” which she’ll continue to file in the win column long after he’s moved on.
Speaking of doomed, somewhere in Australia, Avery wakes up with Ash, who she rode all the way to bone town as their relationship wilted in the wind. Ash comes out in a towel to further underscore the foundation of their relationship, which seems a good deal better than a pay-to-play dating ap or a plastic youtube star on the hunt for subscribers.
Avery brings up her conversation with Sian the day before, and Ash gets nervous, because Sian has all the tea, but has too much integrity to traumatize a child by sharing it. Ash gives the same reason for their delayed divorce that Sian provided, and Avery rushes to toss him a biscuit for being on the same page before he can talk his foot into his mouth. Ash mumbles something about not wanting negativity, and Avery writes a tshirt for the entire self-help movement: “There is a difference between creating negativity and being real with reality.” Avery, are you sure you belong on this show? I mean, it’s considered reality tv, but we don’t really mean it.
This brief foray into truth gives Avery enough ammo to work very, very hard to mute the marching band of red flags that flashed in sync last episode. She pivots to the bigger issue, taking Taj to the US of A, which Ash insists is something Sian “initially” agreed to, but yeah, no. Avery has a solution that she culled from her conversation with Sian, and suggests that perhaps Ash could visit her three months out of the year, and devote the rest of his time to raising Taj. Ash supports this plan with a double actually. Avery is equally stoked, since they managed to talk without Ash accusing her of gnawing his face with verbal vomit.
Beef squashed, they head out to pick up Taj so they can throw rocks at ducks in a park, like a family. Ash declares that Taj has the superhuman ability to identify a car by sound alone, and summons an example from a recent outing. Taj corrects him that he was able to identify the car because he saw it, which officially earns Taj a place next to Mother Usman and Mother Erika in Camp Awesome.
“My dad exaggerates everything. It’s kind of his thing,” Taj explains. “Pointing out these exaggerations is kind of my thing. It’s going to get worse when I’m a teenager. By worse, I mean better.” Taj is right.
Avery reflects on her fantasy about combining their families, including her daughter Sailboat (Silver? Whatever, I like Sailboat better) and just to underscore the point they flash a photo of the gorgeous child. Avery says she realizes she has to go home soon and she’s going to miss Ash, and hey, way to be in an actual relationship.
In Donzo, Thailand, Ed flip-flops back to his hotel room, assuming that Rose will still be there, warming his basket of prophylactics in her armpit, eager to embrace a mealy-mouthed self-serving whiny warbling pouty-lip apology. Rose, however, knows that “I’m done” means “goodbye” and has noped the fuck out before Ed tries to grope-hug her or hand her another hygiene product. Now Ed is left to decide for himself whether to pack or wear his bright orange sneakers onto the plane, while feeling sorry for himself and fully ignoring that whole part of the narrative where he’s a compulsive liar.
Hey guys, Steph is here to further rationalize tossing Erika for withholding crucial ex data. Erika, on the other hand, has to deal with the fact that real-life Stephanie is a completely different person from the girl she got to know online, who was fun and flirty and sexual. I imagine this must feel like falling in love with someone, and then they just disappear.
Erika drives three hours for a conversation that could have been a phone call. As Erika sits down Stephanie declares an intention to end on a positive note, and begins rationalizing her behavior. Erika isn’t sure about being on good terms, and explains that after months of gooing over the possibility of a shared life, Stephanie broke up with her just like that. Erika calls her out about figuring out her shit before playing with someone’s heart, and reminds Steph that if she had issues with her friendships, her exes, her sexual history, she could have voiced all of this prior to boarding a plane. She’s got Stephanie’s number, and knows she was just used for a tv show.
Stephanie asks if theres anything else to talk about, and Erika says no, and that she just wants to forget everything, but she can’t, because her family and friends have met Stephanie and are going to ask about her. Steph counters that she has to go home and be upset and not tell anyone, except she will, she just can’t let Erika have any pain she doesn’t try to trump.
Erika seems genuinely heartbroken. Stephanie seems like she doesn’t want to miss her plane.
Erika returns to her parents’ house, and sits down to give her wonder-mom an update on her relationship with Stephanie. Erika leaves out the whole part where she concealed a 10-year on/off relationship, and says she feels like it’s always her giving so much.
“That’s because of your beautiful soul, Erika,” Mother Erika says. Then Erika says that Steph is not ready for any kind of relationship (facts), and Mother Erika brings the warmth with: “You will find someone who sees you for who you are.” Mom goes on to say that this relationship was not for nothing, and she’s so glad Erika could come and talk with her about everything.
I feel a twinge. Does anyone else feel a twinge? I think it’s a feeling. Great, now they’re plural, and can breed.
Erika is still glad she told her mom that shes bi, even though things went south with Stephanie. Her mother repeats that she just wants Erika to be happy and appreciated, and then her mom hugs her because OF COURSE SHE DOES THAT BETTER NOT BE A THIRD FEELING.
We haven’t had nearly enough footage of folks staring at their phones in confusion, so here’s Yolanda to fill that hole in our souls. Yep, that’s a phone all right. Maybe she can take a photo of it and send it to Lisa for verification. Yep, those are text messages. Looking at her phone in her living room. Totally different from everyone’s daily experience.
If this show has jumped the shark, David drove the boat, and Yolanda strapped on the water skis.
Oh yes, David. After years of shoveling dollar after dollar into a paid dating site for the privilege of interacting with his girlfriend of seven years, David is ready to embrace his beloved, and for the first time in five attempts, Lana has shown up. David does him MmmMMmm so that she’ll recognize him. Lana just looks confused.
90DF does one of those 24 hour flashbacks they love, so we can see Lana working out at the gym with guidance from Anfisa’s Red Bag Fitness Fight. Then she shops for makeup. Couldn’t David have found someone with an identical set of priorities on the average sugar baby site? Lana expresses to the producers that she never expected to meet a foreigner like David on a website for foreigners. Then she heads to a coffee shop, which is a great place to be busy with your nephew’s hockey tournaments. While she’s sitting there, a friend calls, and Lana reports that she’s planning to meet a 60 year-old American who lives in Vegas and is paid well, and the friend says, “Oooo I hear they have a short life expectancy there!”
Back in the weird Kiev present:
David: I cant believe it!
Lana: What?
David: I can’t believe it!
Lana: Why?
David busts out the translator ap, and then tells the English-speaking 90DF producers the English translation. It’s like David is the translator’s hype man. They exchange a single statement before David swaddles Lana, who leaves her arms firmly at her sides. Lana flatly reports that she feels he’s her soul mate, sort of, if no one else is around and she doesn’t have surgery that day. She also notes he’s more attractive than she expected. We’ve been watching this show a long time, and yes, David is a 90DF 10. David looks happy at last, years of age melting down his face that will be back in place come the Zoom nightmare reunion.
And that miserable reunion makes me think of Darcey. Sigh. She’s hanging out with her daughters, putting on face masks while they compliment her, and declare that she looks like she came out of a Barbie factory, to which the other daughter says, “Mom IS Barbie.” Are you two battling for supremacy in the last will and testament? Whatever, it’s nice, they’re nice, everything is nice, and Darcey is back to seeking support from mychildrenaremyworld.
Wondering about Tom? No one is wondering about Tom. He’s still trying to score his brown shoes a few more minutes of screen time, by making mopey face and trying to sell his imaginary investment in Darcey. He meets up with his friend Hammy, who is unimpressed with Tom’s romantic scrambled egg, and he reminds Tom that karma is a bitch, because we haven’t heard enough trite catchphrases that double as 90s songs this episode. Tom tells Hammy he kind of wants to milk a third season from Darcey’s teet, and Hammy declares that Tom will probably want Darcey back at some point, or maybe just the teet. I see what you’re doing, Tom and Hammy, and we are not watching a 45 degree haircut in a jacket for another 15 episodes. Then Tom does the other thing he does, which is take his wheeled luggage for a walk around the airport.
Next week: Stephanie comes out to her mom after the fact (come ON with this storyline, it’s on a tv show, mom is going to see it), and Ash tells Avery she’s not a short-term project, because romance. Teddy the dog returns and unfortunately brings Ed, Lisa reminds us the definition of “done” is lost on her, and Lana learns that David hired a private investigator so his red flags could chase hers all over Eastern Europe, until COVID-19 granted her the safety and excuses that color every hustler’s dreams.
Thank you, Patreon supporters!
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2020.05.18 12:21 fractalfay That’s because of your beautiful soul: Recap of BT90D S04E13

Welcome back to another recrap of BT90D: the season where all the best characters are moms, children, cats, or dogs. One of the last couples standing is Baby Girl Lisa and Baby Love Usman, who is starting to think being the master of Nigerian hip hop is good enough for him. Last episode, Lisa was shocked to learn she needs evidence of her divorce before she can get started on her second one. This is clearly Usman’s fault, since she left him in charge of The Google.
So now Lisa unfurls her smoker’s rasp on an unsuspecting York, PA court clerk, while demonstrating her four varieties of pursed lips: the Mitch McConnell, the thirsty lizard, the Metamucil, and the Newport Softpack. The clerk attempts to explain bureaucracy and paperwork, and Lisa demands to know if they can do The Email, unless Hillary Clinton has them stored in her basement with pizza. The clerk decides to make an exception for the sake of escaping this phone call, and low and behold, Lisa’s latest two-hour tantrum shows itself to be a two-minute problem. Usman showers her with kisses, while we all astral project to our respective safe spaces, and then Lisa heads for a bath, her tongue darting in and out to best detect the presence of water.
Two short hours after this non-existent obstacle is overcome, Lisa puts her sweatband back on to race towards the next empty-headed hurdle. She and Usman go out for a little alcohol and accusations, and Lisa claims she saw Usman’s phone, and you know what that means: fee-males. She says he’s been texting back and forth with a WHORE who claims to love him, and she wants to know if she needs to unfurl a Geoffrey-level cyber stalk so her criminal file can catch a few more pages. Lisa took pictures of his phone with her phone, and with this binder full of evidence, she’s ready to assault Usman with a word salad she’s made from Waiting to Exhale, Beyonce, and reruns of The Wire.
Lisa: You think you’re a wannabe player, but it kinda looks like you’re succeeding. Damn. Who runs the world? Girls.
Usman: Why would I only have one fish on the line when I am a fisherman?
Lisa: This is the bitch that put a sad emoji on your post about me. Do you know what that means? It means unhappiness, Usman. Are you listening?
Usman: I’m not listening.
Lisa: She said I love you, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
Usman: Someone with an inbox?
Lisa: Darnell! I need a new bedroom set!
Usman: I only say I love you because that is something I say. Have you heard my song? That is my thing.
Lisa: You come at the King, you best not miss.
Usman: Oooo! Omar! That’s Omar, right? Yes, HBO!
Lisa: I got 50 men in the states I can marry.
Usman: No one believes this.
Lisa: Block these fee-males and clean up this page tonight. A musician doesn’t need fans to perform in a gazebo in York.
Usman: I’ve made a mistake.
Lisa: I’ve been playing this game longer than you’ve been alive, and it doesn’t matter that my game is dusty and on layaway, because I believe that’s match point.
Usman: How can I trust you keeping score when you count the number zero as 50?
Lisa storms off and tells him to go back to his goat, who is a more consistent and nurturing romantic partner than Lisa anyway. Usman decides to finish his drink and maybe text a few backburner ladies in the meantime, while Lisa slows her gait hoping that he suddenly feels inspired to sprint after her. Eventually he realizes he’s going to have to reduce the heat on this evening’s meltdown, and he asks her to come back to the table and talk about this. She flounces back, declaring, “I can’t wait to be back in the land of the fucking free, and decent fucking people.” Yep, Lisa is definitely holding up a picket sign outside of a Costco to demand freedom from the tyranny of face masks, before she calls the checkout clerk an asshole for not having the gallon sized containers of jam, because China.
Usman declares that he will not be commanded by her except when he is, which is all the time. He tells her the same shit about emails from fans he told her six episodes ago, and Lisa makes Mitch McConnell face, and says she’s afraid he’s going to cheat on her, like the 50+ “decent” men back in the states who totally want to marry her. Lisa declares herself confident that she’s put Usman “in his place” which she’ll continue to file in the win column long after he’s moved on.
Speaking of doomed, somewhere in Australia, Avery wakes up with Ash, who she rode all the way to bone town as their relationship wilted in the wind. Ash comes out in a towel to further underscore the foundation of their relationship, which seems a good deal better than a pay-to-play dating ap or a plastic youtube star on the hunt for subscribers.
Avery brings up her conversation with Sian the day before, and Ash gets nervous, because Sian has all the tea, but has too much integrity to traumatize a child by sharing it. Ash gives the same reason for their delayed divorce that Sian provided, and Avery rushes to toss him a biscuit for being on the same page before he can talk his foot into his mouth. Ash mumbles something about not wanting negativity, and Avery writes a tshirt for the entire self-help movement: “There is a difference between creating negativity and being real with reality.” Avery, are you sure you belong on this show? I mean, it’s considered reality tv, but we don’t really mean it.
This brief foray into truth gives Avery enough ammo to work very, very hard to mute the marching band of red flags that flashed in sync last episode. She pivots to the bigger issue, taking Taj to the US of A, which Ash insists is something Sian “initially” agreed to, but yeah, no. Avery has a solution that she culled from her conversation with Sian, and suggests that perhaps Ash could visit her three months out of the year, and devote the rest of his time to raising Taj. Ash supports this plan with a double actually. Avery is equally stoked, since they managed to talk without Ash accusing her of gnawing his face with verbal vomit.
Beef squashed, they head out to pick up Taj so they can throw rocks at ducks in a park, like a family. Ash declares that Taj has the superhuman ability to identify a car by sound alone, and summons an example from a recent outing. Taj corrects him that he was able to identify the car because he saw it, which officially earns Taj a place next to Mother Usman and Mother Erika in Camp Awesome.
“My dad exaggerates everything. It’s kind of his thing,” Taj explains. “Pointing out these exaggerations is kind of my thing. It’s going to get worse when I’m a teenager. By worse, I mean better.” Taj is right.
Avery reflects on her fantasy about combining their families, including her daughter Sailboat (Silver? Whatever, I like Sailboat better) and just to underscore the point they flash a photo of the gorgeous child. Avery says she realizes she has to go home soon and she’s going to miss Ash, and hey, way to be in an actual relationship.
In Donzo, Thailand, Ed flip-flops back to his hotel room, assuming that Rose will still be there, warming his basket of prophylactics in her armpit, eager to embrace a mealy-mouthed self-serving whiny warbling pouty-lip apology. Rose, however, knows that “I’m done” means “goodbye” and has noped the fuck out before Ed tries to grope-hug her or hand her another hygiene product. Now Ed is left to decide for himself whether to pack or wear his bright orange sneakers onto the plane, while feeling sorry for himself and fully ignoring that whole part of the narrative where he’s a compulsive liar.
Hey guys, Steph is here to further rationalize tossing Erika for withholding crucial ex data. Erika, on the other hand, has to deal with the fact that real-life Stephanie is a completely different person from the girl she got to know online, who was fun and flirty and sexual. I imagine this must feel like falling in love with someone, and then they just disappear.
Erika drives three hours for a conversation that could have been a phone call. As Erika sits down Stephanie declares an intention to end on a positive note, and begins rationalizing her behavior. Erika isn’t sure about being on good terms, and explains that after months of gooing over the possibility of a shared life, Stephanie broke up with her just like that. Erika calls her out about figuring out her shit before playing with someone’s heart, and reminds Steph that if she had issues with her friendships, her exes, her sexual history, she could have voiced all of this prior to boarding a plane. She’s got Stephanie’s number, and knows she was just used for a tv show.
Stephanie asks if theres anything else to talk about, and Erika says no, and that she just wants to forget everything, but she can’t, because her family and friends have met Stephanie and are going to ask about her. Steph counters that she has to go home and be upset and not tell anyone, except she will, she just can’t let Erika have any pain she doesn’t try to trump.
Erika seems genuinely heartbroken. Stephanie seems like she doesn’t want to miss her plane.
Erika returns to her parents’ house, and sits down to give her wonder-mom an update on her relationship with Stephanie. Erika leaves out the whole part where she concealed a 10-year on/off relationship, and says she feels like it’s always her giving so much.
“That’s because of your beautiful soul, Erika,” Mother Erika says. Then Erika says that Steph is not ready for any kind of relationship (facts), and Mother Erika brings the warmth with: “You will find someone who sees you for who you are.” Mom goes on to say that this relationship was not for nothing, and she’s so glad Erika could come and talk with her about everything.
I feel a twinge. Does anyone else feel a twinge? I think it’s a feeling. Great, now they’re plural, and can breed.
Erika is still glad she told her mom that shes bi, even though things went south with Stephanie. Her mother repeats that she just wants Erika to be happy and appreciated, and then her mom hugs her because OF COURSE SHE DOES THAT BETTER NOT BE A THIRD FEELING.
We haven’t had nearly enough footage of folks staring at their phones in confusion, so here’s Yolanda to fill that hole in our souls. Yep, that’s a phone all right. Maybe she can take a photo of it and send it to Lisa for verification. Yep, those are text messages. Looking at her phone in her living room. Totally different from everyone’s daily experience.
If this show has jumped the shark, David drove the boat, and Yolanda strapped on the water skis.
Oh yes, David. After years of shoveling dollar after dollar into a paid dating site for the privilege of interacting with his girlfriend of seven years, David is ready to embrace his beloved, and for the first time in five attempts, Lana has shown up. David does him MmmMMmm so that she’ll recognize him. Lana just looks confused.
90DF does one of those 24 hour flashbacks they love, so we can see Lana working out at the gym with guidance from Anfisa’s Red Bag Fitness Fight. Then she shops for makeup. Couldn’t David have found someone with an identical set of priorities on the average sugar baby site? Lana expresses to the producers that she never expected to meet a foreigner like David on a website for foreigners. Then she heads to a coffee shop, which is a great place to be busy with your nephew’s hockey tournaments. While she’s sitting there, a friend calls, and Lana reports that she’s planning to meet a 60 year-old American who lives in Vegas and is paid well, and the friend says, “Oooo I hear they have a short life expectancy there!”
Back in the weird Kiev present:
David: I cant believe it!
Lana: What?
David: I can’t believe it!
Lana: Why?
David busts out the translator ap, and then tells the English-speaking 90DF producers the English translation. It’s like David is the translator’s hype man. They exchange a single statement before David swaddles Lana, who leaves her arms firmly at her sides. Lana flatly reports that she feels he’s her soul mate, sort of, if no one else is around and she doesn’t have surgery that day. She also notes he’s more attractive than she expected. We’ve been watching this show a long time, and yes, David is a 90DF 10. David looks happy at last, years of age melting down his face that will be back in place come the Zoom nightmare reunion.
And that miserable reunion makes me think of Darcey. Sigh. She’s hanging out with her daughters, putting on face masks while they compliment her, and declare that she looks like she came out of a Barbie factory, to which the other daughter says, “Mom IS Barbie.” Are you two battling for supremacy in the last will and testament? Whatever, it’s nice, they’re nice, everything is nice, and Darcey is back to seeking support from mychildrenaremyworld.
Wondering about Tom? No one is wondering about Tom. He’s still trying to score his brown shoes a few more minutes of screen time, by making mopey face and trying to sell his imaginary investment in Darcey. He meets up with his friend Hammy, who is unimpressed with Tom’s romantic scrambled egg, and he reminds Tom that karma is a bitch, because we haven’t heard enough trite catchphrases that double as 90s songs this episode. Tom tells Hammy he kind of wants to milk a third season from Darcey’s teet, and Hammy declares that Tom will probably want Darcey back at some point, or maybe just the teet. I see what you’re doing, Tom and Hammy, and we are not watching a 45 degree haircut in a jacket for another 15 episodes. Then Tom does the other thing he does, which is take his wheeled luggage for a walk around the airport.
Next week: Stephanie comes out to her mom after the fact (come ON with this storyline, it’s on a tv show, mom is going to see it), and Ash tells Avery she’s not a short-term project, because romance. Teddy the dog returns and unfortunately brings Ed, Lisa reminds us the definition of “done” is lost on her, and Lana learns that David hired a private investigator so his red flags could chase hers all over Eastern Europe, until COVID-19 granted her the safety and excuses that color every hustler’s dreams.
Thank you, Patreon supporters! patreon.com/fractalfay
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2020.05.14 13:14 we-feed-the-fire By request: My Recap of the Leaked Tell-All video.

A slow descent into madness: an exhaustive recap of the tell all leak
Supposedly the leaked video (clocking in at 10+ hours) was the second day filming.
I watched the entire thing. This is a rambling list of the thoughts going through my mind while watching, and a fairly comprehensive timeline / summary of events, or at least the juiciest parts. I believe it becomes fairly obvious when my mental state started to decline - I was well into the 5th hour by then.
Part 1: David
The show begins an hour into the video.
A lot of time was spent on David. Asking David the same questions, hoping he’d get a clue. Instead he doubled down on his delusion.
David started in this endeavor by going on two trips with a friend over 20 years ago. He states he did not like it - 25 guys meeting 400 women in a big bar. He said it was horrible - he called the women aggressive and professional daters. He went on another trip with 10 guys meeting maybe 40 women in different cities. He describes receiving catalogs of women and selecting specific ones to meet on the trip. A friend he met on one of these trips introduced him to a web site in 2007.
Lana does not work for the web site or get paid. According to David, the web sites are US sites, they contract through the agency that vets the “girls”. He insists Lana derives no income from the web site or agency. It’s illegal for him to contact her directly? He pays in order to not be scammed.
He has known Lana for 7 years. She was too young at the start - he won’t “date” anyone under 25. He wasn’t talking to Lana for 2.5 years. He’s “dated” 30 girls in Ukraine when he wasn’t talking to Lana. He’s been to Ukraine 20 times. He’s been engaged twice to women over there (and twice in America.)
David says Lana is very poor. Has very few clothes and possessions. She only has five pairs of shoes and gets a new pair of sneakers every 3 years or so. She doesn’t speak English. He bought her an iPhone to talk directly but she doesn’t like the keyboard because of her long fingernails. She can’t talk directly to him on the computer because the agency owns the laptop and monitors activity.
He’s spent $250,000 to $300,000 on “dating” on these sites. He claims he’s a millionaire so the money is no object.
Friends of David appear, say their piece, then disappear.
Cesar appears. David had talked to Maria years ago. Said she was high maintenance.
Yolanda and Usman join in. Usman has poor connection. Usman leaves.
A wild Tom appears. Tom compliments Yolanda’s weight loss. Says he’s not hitting on her, just complimenting her.
Tom doesn’t watch much of the show. Says David is his “fast forward couple”.
Cesar says he visited Maria. Maria wasn’t happy he showed up. But she met him, they took photos, she asked to see his phone and he realized later she deleted the photos. They spent 10 days together, he got a couple of pecks on the cheek and lips? But no intimacy. Specified no tongue. Maria was “pissed off” that he showed up, refused to meet Cesar if the cameras were there. Wanted him to buy her a $500 pair of shoes and $300 dinner.
Tom asks if he packed the chocolate panties. Cesar said he took the beaded candy ones.
Yolanda said Cesar DMd her and left his phone number. Cesar says Yolanda is beautiful and that he “loves chocolate” with a Pervy laugh. But he says he was just reaching out as friends. Shaun asks Cesar if he DMs Tom. Tom confirms that he did, and that the alumni reach out to each other.
Shaun asks Yolanda if she would date Cesar, she replies with an emphatic no.
David went back to Ukraine and met Lana. They kissed, no other intimacy. He proposed, she accepted (they show clips.) Lana is still on the dating sites. David is still on the dating sites because Lana is. Lana is still on the site because that’s where her only friends are, David basically describes her as a shut in with no friends.
At one point later in the show he drops the bombshell “love has nothing to do with it.”
Ed appears. He’s holding Teddy (against the dog’s will) on his lap. Ed shouts into his mic. He yells repeatedly about David being scammed for the better part of 18 minutes.
David gets excitable. Yells about this being bullshit. Yells at Tom that Darcey was still talking to other guys.
The current status of the relationship? David thinks they’re not together. He hasn’t communicated with Lana in 6 days. But their engagement hasn’t been broken. So they’re engaged but no longer together?
Lana refuses to participate because she’s getting hate mail from guys who have seen the show accusing her of being a scammer.
Stephanie appears.
Stephanie says she thinks it’s disgusting that Lana is being discussed like she’s a commodity. Points out that their relationship is transactional. David and Ed are screaming at each other over her. Stephanie Commends David for not worrying about spending $100,000 while Ed freaked out about spending $2.
A clip of David proposing to Lana with a prop fake ring shows. David says the jeweler advises not buying a real diamond because he didn’t know her ring size. Says she wants to choose her own ring.
Return to Ed and David arguing.
Usman appears.
David is getting heated.
Bottom Line: David’s retiring to move to Ukraine, but started the K1 process.
Shaun wraps the segment with David still arguing at the 3-hour mark. Shaun leaves (possibly to drink heavily - I would be if I was her.) I forgot to note that at some point Tom made a remark to Ed about him not being able to see his toes. It was a joke, but went completely missed by everyone else.
David, Ed, Stephanie and Usman chit chat. Usman sings a bit.
Part 2: Yolanda
We resume at 3:30 with Yolanda.
Yolanda had the flu at the beginning of December. She was in a coma for a month and was on a ventilator for 3 weeks. Her kidneys and liver were failing. Her doctor now believes she had Covid-19.
She did not hear from Williams during that time. She heard from him just a couple of months ago. She didn’t tell him about her coma, he was talking about his aunt dying so it “didn’t come up.”
He didn’t reach out directly, he went through “sweetberry” (?) on Instagram to ask if he could contact her again.
Yolanda’s daughter and a PI the daughter hired join in. PI says the accounts have ties to Nigerian scammers.
Usman joins. He knows nothing about Nigerian scammers, doubts they’re Nigerian.
Usman leaves. Darcey joins. She’s wearing a platinum blonde wig, primping a bit, trying to center herself on the bed she’s sitting on. She’s nodding along to absolutely nothing, shaking her head and smiling periodically like she’s involved in a totally different conversation than we are seeing.
Daughter and PI leave. Shaun asks Darcey what she thinks about Yolanda and Williams. Darcey goes into a spiel about being a target and people on IG preying on her. Starts talking about Jesse and Tom. Says she spent a lot of money on Jesse, says she helped Tom financially and bought him clothes and gifts. Goes into a tangent of non-specific items, won’t provide a direct answer on how much she spent but finally claims she spent $2000 on Tom.
Erika appears.
Shaun tries to get back on the topic of Yolanda and Willams. Shaun asks Erika about her opinion on The Williams mystery IG account and the blackmail.
Darcey uses that opportunity to talk about being targeted by a “network of people” that was calculated by “people in different countries to target certain people around the world.”
“Maybe Nigeria was a part of it, Maybe England was a part of it”. After Tom, Darcey says she met someone who targeted her, says it was a couple she knew and Tom was a part of it, says IP addresses traced to Nottingham and there’s a network of people targeting women around the world.
Darcey claims her second time in Amsterdam she was robbed while shopping after Jesse told her to leave her passport if she was going out shopping. Later says pickpocketed. Implies that the robbery was a setup by Jesse.
Shaun tries to redirect the subject back to Yolanda and Williams.
Lisa appears.
Lisa jumps right in with her expertise about Yahoo Boys, G-Men and grooming people. Darcey drops off and Usman reappears.
Lisa’s gravelly voice takes on a fake Nigerian accent as they yell “baby love” at each other.
Lisa goes on about her social media expertise. Explains the three different cultures of Nigeria. She tells Yolanda to join the Facebook Group SSA: Scamming Scammers Action that Lisa is a big part of.
They convince Yolanda to try to call Williams on speakerphone. No answer.
Lisa is also an expert in African and Nigerian accents FYI.
Erika leaves. David reappears.
Lisa dominates the conversation. Keeps recounting conversations and events of hackings and stuff.
Lisa starts talking about Blood Rituals. Sacrifices. Money rituals. Voodoo dolls. Kidnappings. Killing people to bring luck in scamming people. They believe in black magic and juju. Lisa and Usman keep interrupting each other. Usman has never heard of this. Lisa insists this is real. Go to SSA on Facebook, all the proof is there.
Yolanda, David and Shaun are stunned silent.
Usman is trying to fact check Lisa’s completely far-fetched theories. Lisa purses her beak.
Finally, Shaun redirects.
Yolanda says she’s done. If she hears from Williams again she’s done.
Yolanda is getting DMs all the time offering to FaceTime her. David tells her to go get her Groove back in Jamaica. Yolanda and David both get DMs encouraging them to hook up since they’re both in Vegas.
We are 5 hours 10 minutes in. Let’s see a clip! We see Lana before she met David. She’s at the gym. She’s walking around Kiev in a silver puffer jacket and Nikes. She using her iPhone (with her short nails) to take pictures. She’s shopping for makeup. She’s sipping a latte in a cafe while typing on her laptop. She’s talking to a friend on her iPhone. She talks about America. She knows that you can get married quickly in Las Vegas. She tells her friend she has an exciting day tomorrow “I’m meeting an American.” Her friend asks if he’s wealthy.
Shaun points out the inconsistencies in Lana’s apparent poverty and David’s understanding of her circumstances. David says “that’s not real”.
We spent the next 10 minutes or so with Yolanda, Usman, Lisa and Shaun trying to talk some sense into David. It doesn’t work.
Shaun leaves for a break.
Ash appears. We spend the next while discussing quarantine. Ash hadn’t heard about Yolanda being sick, his eyes get wide when he hears her coma tale.
They’re talking about lockdowns and restrictions and being able to go where you want. David thinks they’re talking about Ash being able to visit the US on his Australian passport.
Lisa’s ex-husband just got out of prison.
David lives in a rental house that’s being sold in a month.
Yolanda asks if people read their tweets.
Lisa has a stalker with 25 accounts. Lisa now has her phone number and address. She’s going to have her arrested and “put charges against her”.
David gets death threats.
Back to Yolanda and the Covid.
David leaves.
Tom returns. He asks how many bottles of lube Lisa and Usman used raw dogging it. She said none - I’m guessing she just peed on him a la Dinyell.
More R-rated banter. Lisa tells Tom to ask about Usman refusing to join the mile high club.
Ash looks stunned into silence. Maybe a bit frightened. He’s retreated to his nothing box.
Usman tries to explain about the 70%, that it’s a B and a compliment. Tom asks why she paid twice the going rate for a goat.
Lots of goat talk. Peeing goat talk. Showering the goat. Walking in sandals through mud and goat shit.
Tom makes a crack about not being the only cast members showering with animals. Ash asks about Ed showering with Rosemarie’s father? Then his feed goes out.
Lisa starts talking about gross food. Tom are goat brain in Albania. Lisa starts everything with “Usman, tell them about the time...” then just talks over him to tell the story herself.
Stephanie appears.
Ed appears.
Usman leaves. Lisa tells them about the armed convoy everywhere they went. Ed wants to know about the goat. More goat tales.
7 hour 10 minute mark.
Part 3: Lisa and Usman
Shaun is back with Lisa and Usman. We lose Usman.
Lisa had surgery.
She hurt her baby toe before going to Nigeria. Ruptured a blood vessel. It swelled up in Africa. Returned to the US with a dead/dying toe. Got infected, went gangrenous, was amputated.
Usman returns.
The next segment is insufferable.
Usman says Lisa calls him a N***** frequently. Lisa screams about opening a can of worms.
Usman asks if American women are all like this.
Lisa and Usman are married but keep blocking each other.
Lisa is Usman’s first serious relationship.
Lisa freaks out about women on Usman’s comments and in his DMs.
Says she’s seen the other girls Usman dated, they’re “3 times my size”.
They fight about Trish Playtas.
Lisa talks over Usman. Yells, curses, threatens.
Enter Giant and Aba (?) after 25 minutes of toxic bullshit.
Lisa talks about getting “gangbanged”. (I think she means ganged up on, but she’s so cringe who can tell.)
Lisa has a screaming match. Hangs up because she was “mistreated and disrespected”.
Enter Lisa’s friend Nikki.
Nikki screams about disrespect for the next forever. Lisa returns.
There’s endless raspy screeching about bitches, clowns, motherfuckers and more disrespect. Fuck you. Fuck outta here.
Shaun loses all control.
Aba and Nikki scream at each other some more.
Shaun gives up. She is writing something just below the screen. I suspect it’s her resignation letter.
Finally Shaun redirects the conversation. She brings up the polygamy.
If Lisa has an egg and can tote it, Usman doesn’t want another wife. If Lisa can’t squat and hatch Usman’s offspring, he will take another wife.
Cue Lisa’s expertise on polygamy.
Clip Roll: the night before the wedding, Lisa storms off and disrespects Usman’s brothers the night before the wedding.
Lisa cackles.
Avery and Ed appear.
Usman and Lisa keep arguing.
Shaun asks Avery’s perception. Avery asks “where is the love?” All she sees is them screaming over each other and assert themselves.
Before Lisa can respond Ed jumps in.
Lisa calls the kettle black and says Avery and Ed aren’t portrayed well.
Ed started to watch the show after he decided to be on it.
Ed compliments Usman for being calm and respectful and not using any foul words.
Lisa Cackles. Ed calls her a bull in a china shop “no disrespect”. Says he thought she was the definition of a narcissist, but says she’s actually the definition of delusional.
Lisa interrupts. Usman starts singing. Lisa and Ed scream over each other. Lisa tells Avery to shut up, says she went on Ed’s live drunk and making an ass of herself. Ed keeps screaming “delusional”. Lisa calls Avery a drunk. Avery tells Usman “not all American women are like that”, Lisa rebounds with “that’s why Ash dumped your ass.” Ed tells Usman there are many more nicer women.
Ed: she treated you like a piece of shit. She treated you like a slave.
Lisa: you are a piece of shit!
Ed: you made America Sick!
Lisa: Ed Fuck You! Fuck You!
Lisa: you abused Rose to go on this show because no fucking other woman would! You fucking used her (x 5). Shut the fuck up.
More screaming over each other.
Usman begs Ed to calm down.
Lisa: you’re going to let this fucking pervert who’s got charges for sexual harassment... you’re going to let this idiot come at me with the fucking charges he’s got? This fucking pervert has been grooming women. The women are coming out of the woodwork saying Ed has molested them, he’s groomed them, and god only knows what the fuck else he did to them.
More screaming.
Ed: the internet is fake!
Lisa: Harry (producer) remove these two right now!
Lisa calls them Thing 1 and Thing 2 and demands Harry remove them.
Ed gets cut.
Lisa continues to scream at Avery about glass houses.
Tom appears.
Usman is yelling now.
Shaun tries to gain control.
Tom: I was nervous delivering that letter to Darcey but coming in to this conversation is wild!
Shaun brings up the polygamy subject again.
Lisa might move to Nigeria for The Other Way.
Shaun disappears.
Avery drops.
Lisa says “Tom, this is all for show. It’s a dog and horse, pony show I call it.”
Tom blows smoke up her ass. His idea of love is apparently jealousy, anger and disrespect. He says it’s obvious they love each other because apparently only people truly in love can be that hateful and vicious and angry to each other.
Shaun is back. Darcey appears. Usman is singing. Darcey is swaying to Soja Boy, slurring, “do it big! Lisa, Be the queen!”
Darcey’s been in the sauce.
Usman tells Lisa to cover her bra.
More second wife talk.
Tom asks a question about what kind of second wife Usman would have. Darcey says something. Shaun asks Lisa a question. Usman freaks out and screams “Tom asked me a question, let me answer the question”. This leads to Lisa screaming at Shaun about disrespecting Usman, screams at the producer “you better tell this hostess to shut her mouth” shut up! Shut up!”
Usman keeps yelling. Shaun trying to calm everyone.
Lisa: Barb! Barb! Barb! Do you hear me? It’s time to cut her now! Barb! Cut her now! Barb! Cut the fucking thing, cut it now! She’s disrespecting Usman! Fucking stop it! Stop it barb! Fuck off!
Darcey looks like a confused bobble head.
Lisa hangs up.
Usman and Darcey talk about Trish Playtas.
Darcey: things are don’t differently in America, I’ve been in the entertainment industry way before Tom, way before Jesse.
Usman starts to explain going live with Trish.
Lisa returns.
Part 4: Wrap Ups and “where does your relationship stand?”
Shaun turns to Darcey and Tom, asks where the future of their relationship is. Lisa and Usman respond loudly, not letting them talk.
Finally, Lisa and Usman are gone.
Tom: friends maybe blah blah blah great mom, good person, wish you the best.
Darcey: my journey, my daughters, my brother who passed blah blah blah don’t want toxic negativity
Ash and Avery return: same question
Ash is worried about his hair being cut off on the screen.
Ash started the journey with the intent to propose. Says he loves her. Breaking up was the hardest thing. Future is going to be looking after his family.
Ash answers the question in a concise, straight forward manner.
Just kidding. He uses a lot of words to absolutely avoid answering anything.
Avery says this is a hard question to ask someone who just separated. She trails off. I think... I don’t... I wanted... honestly...
Erika and Stephanie return: where do you stand?
Not even friends. Can they ever be friends?
Stephanie says best case is friends from afar.
Erika says they’ve been friends and fought many many times. She came in today wanting to speak and wasn’t able to do that, but doesn’t hold any hate. It’s going to be hard to see any of this in a positive light.
Erika didn’t get a change to express that she took a big step coming out to her parents then Stephanie dumped her the next morning.
Stephanie came out to her mom too apparently, but it wasn’t like Erika’s coming out (receptive and kind).
Pick up lines:
Asking what they’ve been doing during the quarantine, will air at the beginning of the show.
(Erika makes earrings!)
Shaun has to rephrase the question to Stephanie to ask specifically about... HER ILLNESS!
Bet you didn’t see that one coming.
Yolanda wrap up: no more online dating. She’s going to meet men at the market or the casino. Old school.
Ed wrap up: who cares.
Ok. I guess we do.
Shaun asks about the shower. I just can’t listen to him anymore. Then she asks about the first night they were intimate. I’m going to barf.
Ed takes full responsibility for “not the things I did, but the way I did them”. Rose is mad at him right now. She wanted to reconcile February 9.
Ed is taking a break from dating (sorry ladies!) but Rose taught him to love again and “she didn’t destroy me like my first marriage did.”
His mom is moving in with him. But she’s a nurse so hasn’t moved in yet. Ed’s mom is a nurse caring for a young child with a tracheostomy.
Ed sucks, but a round of applause for Mother Ed is deserved.
David wrap up:
David is going to retire earlier than planned because of the recession resulting from the quarantine.
Shaun asks about the first kiss.
David says something about bowling. He bowls 4 strikes with Lana.
The girls in Ukraine love bowling but don’t get to do that. So he takes them. He bets kisses for every strike he bowls.
Lana is upset over the publicity from the show. Gets physically ill in front of the camera.
If she won’t come to the US or dumps him, he will live part time in the Ukraine - 3 months at a time - to continue dating women there.
It’s over. Thank God.
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2020.05.11 15:54 grossmaer36 Sites like Craigslist Personals

Sites like Craigslist Personals
What is replacing Craigslist’s Personals?
There is none. When you use the term “alternative,” you imply parity, equality, sameness.
Craig Newmark was no great genius. He was simply present when the web was in it's early seminal stage and started an online bulletin board for his friends.
For years, it grew virally, as most successful social media sites do, because ads and postings were carefully vetted by Newmark and his staff in order to maintain quality so that paid advertising could be attracted.
Unfortunately, once it reached a certain plateau, he obviously made the decision that continued monitoring would be prohibitively expensive and the site began to deteriorate until it reached the point where it was about as reliable as a Nigerian call center.
It's amazing to me that no one else has jumped into that space. Historically, the 'poor man's variant was Backpage, now closed because of the prostitution ads.
But as for the best hookup dating sites - I like these ones:
--> Sendnudez
--> https://dating-sites-apps.blogspot.com/
Good luck

https://preview.redd.it/z2f2276i55y41.png?width=436&format=png&auto=webp&s=9614af22a7dd4ab95ef7e45dc64bca8b944fd22b
Sites like Craigslist Personals
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2020.04.26 21:00 EugeneBYMCMB /r/Scams Common Scam Master Post

Hello visitors and subscribers of scams! Here you will find a master list of common (and uncommon) scams that you may encounter online or in real life. Thank you to the many contributors who helped create this thread!

If you know of a scam that is not covered here, write a comment and it will be added to the next edition.

Previous threads: https://old.reddit.com/Scams/search?q=common+scams+master+post&restrict_sr=on
Blackmail email scam thread: https://old.reddit.com/Scams/comments/g8jqnthe_blackmail_email_scam_part_5//
Some of these articles are from small, local publications and refer to the scam happening in a specific area. Do not think that this means that the scam won't happen in your area.

Spoofing

Caller ID spoofing
It is very easy for anyone to make a phone call while having any number show up on the caller ID of the person receiving the phone call. Receiving a phone call from a certain number does not mean that the person/company who owns that number has actually called you.
Email spoofing
The "from" field of an email can be set by the sender, meaning that you can receive scam emails that look like they are from legitimate addresses. It's important to never click links in emails unless absolutely necessary, for example a password reset link you requested or an account activation link for an account you created.
SMS spoofing
SMS messages can be spoofed, so be wary of messages that seem to be from your friends or other trusted people.

The most common scams

The fake check scam (Credit to nimble2 for this part)
The fake check scam arises from many different situations (for instance, you applied for a job, or you are selling something on a place like Craigslist, or someone wants to purchase goods or services from your business, or you were offered a job as a mystery shopper, you were asked to wrap your car with an advertisement, or you received a check in the mail for no reason), but the bottom line is always something like this:
General fraudulent funds scams If somebody is asking you to accept and send out money as a favour or as part of a job, it is a fraudulent funds scam. It does not matter how they pay you, any payment on any service can be fraudulent and will be reversed when it is discovered to be fraudulent.
Phone verification code scams Someone will ask you to receive a verification text and then tell you to give them the code. Usually the code will come from Google Voice, or from Craigslist. In the Google version of the scam, your phone number will be used to verify a Google Voice account that the scammer will use to scam people with. In the Craigslist version of the scam, your phone number will be used to verify a Craigslist posting that the scammer will use to scam people. There is also an account takeover version of this scam that will involve the scammer sending a password reset token to your phone number and asking you for it.
Bitcoin job scams
Bitcoin job scams involve some sort of fraudulent funds transfer, usually a fake check although a fraudulent bank transfer can be used as well. The scammer will send you the fraudulent money and ask you to purchase bitcoins. This is a scam, and you will have zero recourse after you send the scammer bitcoins.
Email flooding
If you suddenly receive hundreds or thousands of spam emails, usually subscription confirmations, it's very likely that one of your online accounts has been taken over and is being used fraudulently. You should check any of your accounts that has a credit card linked to it, preferably from a computer other than the one you normally use. You should change all of your passwords to unique passwords and you should start using two factor authentication everywhere.
Boss/CEO scam A scammer will impersonate your boss or someone who works at your company and will ask you to run an errand for them, which will usually be purchasing gift cards and sending them the code. Once the scammer has the code, you have no recourse.
Employment certification scams
You will receive a job offer that is dependent on you completing a course or receiving a certification from a company the scammer tells you about. The scammer operates both websites and the job does not exist.
Craigslist fake payment scams
Scammers will ask you about your item that you have listed for sale on a site like Craigslist, and will ask to pay you via Paypal. They are scamming you, and the payment in most cases does not actually exist, the email you received was sent by the scammers. In cases where you have received a payment, the scammer can dispute the payment or the payment may be entirely fraudulent. The scammer will then either try to get you to send money to them using the fake funds that they did not send to you, or will ask you to ship the item, usually to a re-shipping facility or a parcel mule.
General fraudulent funds scams The fake check scam is not the only scam that involves accepting fraudulent/fake funds and purchasing items for scammers. If your job or opportunity involves accepting money and then using that money, it is almost certainly a frauduent funds scam. Even if the payment is through a bank transfer, Paypal, Venmo, Zelle, Interac e-Transfer, etc, it does not matter.
Credit card debt scam
Fraudsters will offer to pay off your bills, and will do so with fraudulent funds. Sometimes it will be your credit card bill, but it can be any bill that can be paid online. Once they pay it off, they will ask you to send them money or purchase items for them. The fraudulent transaction will be reversed in the future and you will never be able to keep the money. This scam happens on sites like Craigslist, Twitter, Instagram, and also some dating sites, including SeekingArrangement.
The parcel mule scam
A scammer will contact you with a job opportunity that involves accepting and reshipping packages. The packages are either stolen or fraudulently obtained items, and you will not be paid by the scammer. Here is a news article about a scam victim who fell for this scam and reshipped over 20 packages containing fraudulently acquired goods.
The Skype sex scam
You're on Facebook and you get a friend request from a cute girl you've never met. She wants to start sexting and trading nudes. She'll ask you to send pictures or videos or get on webcam where she can see you naked with your face in the picture. The scam: There's no girl. You've sent nudes to a guy pretending to be a girl. As soon as he has the pictures he'll demand money and threaten to send the pictures to your friends and family. Sometimes the scammer will upload the video to a porn site or Youtube to show that they are serious.
What to do if you are a victim of this scam: You cannot buy silence, you can only rent it. Paying the blackmailer will show them that the information they have is valuable and they will come after you for more money. Let your friends and family know that you were scammed and tell them to ignore friend requests or messages from people they don't know. Also, make sure your privacy settings are locked down and consider deactivating your account.
The underage girl scam
You're on a dating site or app and you get contacted by a cute girl. She wants to start sexting and trading nudes. Eventually she stops communicating and you get a call from a pissed off guy claiming to be the girl's father, or a police officer, or a private investigator, or something else along those lines. Turns out the girl you were sexting is underage, and her parents want some money for various reasons, such as to pay for a new phone, to pay for therapy, etc. There is, of course, no girl. You were communicating with a scammer.
What to do if you are a victim of this scam: Stop picking up the phone when the scammers call. Do not pay them, or they will be after you for more money.
Phishing
Phishing is when a scammer tries to trick you into giving information to them, such as your password or private financial information. Phishing messages will usually look very similar to official messages, and sometimes they are identical. If you are ever required to login to a different account in order to use a service, you should be incredibly cautious.
The blackmail email scam The exact wording of the emails varies, but there are generally four main parts. They claim to have placed software/malware on a porn/adult video site, they claim to have a video of you masturbating or watching porn, they threaten to release the video to your friends/family/loved ones/boss/dog, and they demand that you pay them in order for them to delete the video. Rest assured that this is a very common spam campaign and there is no truth behind the email or the threats. Here are some news articles about this scam.
The blackmail mail scam
This is very similar to the blackmail email scam, but you will receive a letter in the mail.
Rental scams Usually on local sites like Craigslist, scammers will steal photos from legitimate real estate listings and will list them for rent at or below market rate. They will generally be hesitant to tell you the address of the property for "safety reasons" and you will not be able to see the unit. They will then ask you to pay them a deposit and they claim they will ship you the keys. In reality, your money is gone and you will have no recourse.
Craigslist vehicle scams A scammer will list a vehicle on Craigslist and will offer to ship you the car. In many cases they will also falsely claim to sell you the car through eBay or Amazon. If you are looking for a car on Craigslist and the seller says anything about shipping the car, having an agent, gives you a long story about why they are selling the car, or the listing price is far too low, you are talking to a scammer and you should ignore and move on.
Advance-fee scam, also known as the 419 scam, or the Nigerian prince scam. You will receive a communication from someone who claims that you are entitled to a large sum of money, or you can help them obtain a large sum of money. However, they will need money from you before you receive the large sum.
Man in the middle scams
Man in the middle scams are very common and very hard to detect. The scammer will impersonate a company or person you are legitimately doing business with, and they will ask you to send the money to one of their own bank accounts or one controlled by a money mule. They have gained access to the legitimate persons email address, so there will be nothing suspicious about the email. To prevent this, make contact in a different way that lets you verify that the person you are talking to is the person you think you are talking to.
Cam girl voting/viewer scam
You will encounter a "cam girl" on a dating/messaging/social media/whatever site/app, and the scammer will ask you to go to their site and sign up with your credit card. They may offer a free show, or ask you to vote for them, or any number of other fake stories.
Amateur porn recruitment scam
You will encounter a "pornstar" on a dating/messaging/social media/whatever site/app, and the scammer will ask you to create an adult film with hehim, but first you need to do something. The story here is usually something to do with verifying your age, or you needing to take an STD test that involves sending money to a site operated by the scammer.
Hot girl SMS spam
You receive a text from a random number with a message along the lines of "Hey babe I'm here in town again if you wanted to meet up this time, are you around?" accompanied by a NSFW picture of a hot girl. It's spam, and they'll direct you to their scam website that requires a credit card.
Identity verification scam
You will encounter someone on a dating/messaging/social media/whatever site/app, and the scammer will ask that you verify your identity as they are worried about catfishing. The scammer operates the site, and you are not talking to whoever you think you are talking to.
This type of scam teases you with something, then tries to make you sign up for something else that costs money. The company involved is often innocent, but they turn a blind eye to the practice as it helps their bottom line, even if they have to occasionally issue refunds. A common variation takes place on dating sites/dating apps, where you will match with someone who claims to be a camgirl who wants you to sign up for a site and vote for her. Another variation takes place on local sites like Craigslist, where the scammers setup fake rental scams and demand that you go through a specific service for a credit check. Once you go through with it, the scammer will stop talking to you. Another variation also takes place on local sites like Craigslist, where scammers will contact you while you are selling a car and will ask you to purchase a Carfax-like report from a specific website.
Multi Level Marketing or Affiliate Marketing
You apply for a vague job listing for 'sales' on craigslist. Or maybe an old friend from high school adds you on Facebook and says they have an amazing business opportunity for you. Or maybe the well dressed guy who's always interviewing people in the Starbucks that you work at asks if you really want to be slinging coffee the rest of your life. The scam: MLMs are little more than pyramid schemes. They involve buying some sort of product (usually snake oil health products like body wraps or supplements) and shilling them to your friends and family. They claim that the really money is recruiting people underneath you who give you a slice of whatever they sell. And if those people underneath you recruit more people, you get a piece of their sales. Ideally if you big enough pyramid underneath you the money will roll in without any work on your part. Failure to see any profit will be your fault for not "wanting it enough." The companies will claim that you need to buy their extra training modules or webinars to really start selling. But in reality, the vast majority of people who buy into a MLM won't see a cent. At the end of the day all you'll be doing is annoying your friends and family with your constant recruitment efforts. What to look out for: Recruiters love to be vague. They won't tell you the name of the company or what exactly the job will entail. They'll pump you up with promises of "self-generating income", "being your own boss", and "owning your own company." They might ask you to read books about success and entrepreneurs. They're hoping you buy into the dream first. If you get approached via social media, check their timelines. MLMs will often instruct their victims to pretend that they've already made it. They'll constantly post about how they're hustling and making the big bucks and linking to youtube videos about success. Again, all very vague about what their job actually entails. If you think you're being recruited: Ask them what exactly the job is. If they can't answer its probably a MLM. Just walk away.

Phone scams

You should generally avoid answering or engaging with random phone calls. Picking up and engaging with a scam call tells the scammers that your phone number is active, and will usually lead to more calls.
Tax Call
You get a call from somebody claiming to be from your countries tax agency. They say you have unpaid taxes that need to be paid immediately, and you may be arrested or have other legal action taken against you if it is not paid. This scam has caused the American IRS, Canadian CRA, British HMRC, and Australian Tax Office to issue warnings. This scam happens in a wide variety of countries all over the world.
Warrant Call
Very similar to the tax call. You'll get a phone call from an "agent", "officer", "sheriff", or other law enforcement officer claiming that there is a warrant out for your arrest and you will be arrested very soon. They will then offer to settle everything for a fee, usually paid in giftcards.
[Legal Documents/Process Server Calls]
Very similar to the warrant call. You'll get a phone call from a scammer claiming that they are going to serve you legal documents, and they will threaten you with legal consequences if you refuse to comply. They may call themselves "investigators", and will sometimes give you a fake case number.
Student Loan Forgiveness Scam
Scammers will call you and tell you about a student loan forgiveness program, but they are interested in obtaining private information about you or demanding money in order to join the fake program.
Tech Support Call You receive a call from someone with a heavy accent claiming to be a technician Microsoft or your ISP. They inform you that your PC has a virus and your online banking and other accounts may be compromised if the virus is not removed. They'll have you type in commands and view diagnostics on your PC which shows proof of the virus. Then they'll have you install remote support software so the technician can work on your PC, remove the virus, and install security software. The cost of the labor and software can be hundreds of dollars. The scam: There's no virus. The technician isn't a technician and does not work for Microsoft or your ISP. Scammers (primarily out of India) use autodialers to cold-call everyone in the US. Any file they point out to you or command they have you run is completely benign. The software they sell you is either freeware or ineffective. What to do you if you're involved with this scam: If the scammers are remotely on your computer as you read this, turn off your PC or laptop via the power button immediately, and then if possible unplug your internet connection. Some of the more vindictive tech scammers have been known to create boot passwords on your computer if they think you've become wise to them and aren't going to pay up. Hang up on the scammers, block the number, and ignore any threats about payment. Performing a system restore on your PC is usually all that is required to remove the scammer's common remote access software. Reports of identity theft from fake tech calls are uncommon, but it would still be a good idea to change your passwords for online banking and monitor your accounts for any possible fraud. How to avoid: Ignore any calls claiming that your PC has a virus. Microsoft will never contact you. If you're unsure if a call claiming to be from your ISP is legit, hang up, and then dial the customer support number listed on a recent bill. If you have elderly relatives or family that isn't tech savvy, take the time to fill them in on this scam.
Chinese government scam
This scam is aimed at Chinese people living in Europe and North America, and involves a voicemail from someone claiming to be associated with the Chinese government, usually through the Chinese consulate/embassy, who is threatening legal action or making general threats.
Chinese shipping scam
This scam is similar to the Chinese government scam, but involves a seized/suspicious package, and the scammers will connect the victim to other scammers posing as Chinese government investigators.
Social security suspension scam
You will receive a call from someone claiming to work for the government regarding suspicious activity, fraud, or serious crimes connected to your social security number. You'll be asked to speak to an operator and the operator will explain the steps you need to follow in order to fix the problems. It's all a scam, and will lead to you losing money and could lead to identity theft if you give them private financial information.
Utilities cutoff
You get a call from someone who claims that they are from your utility company, and they claim that your utilities will be shut off unless you immediately pay. The scammer will usually ask for payment via gift cards, although they may ask for payment in other ways, such as Western Union or bitcoin.
Relative in custody Scammer claims to be the police, and they have your son/daughtenephew/estranged twin in custody. You need to post bail (for some reason in iTunes gift cards or MoneyGram) immediately or the consequences will never be the same.
Mexican family scam
This scam comes in many different flavours, but always involves someone in your family and Mexico. Sometimes the scammer will claim that your family member has been detained, sometimes the scammer will claim that your family member has been kidnapped, and sometimes the scammer will claim that your family member is injured and needs help.
General family scams
Scammers will gather a large amount of information about you and target your family members using different stories with the goal of gettimg them to send money.
One ring scam
Scammers will call you from an international number with the goal of getting you to return their call, causing you to incur expensive calling fees.

Online shopping scams

THE GOLDEN RULE OF ONLINE SHOPPING: If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
Dropshipping
An ad on reddit or social media sites like Facebook and Instagram offers items at huge discounts or even free (sometimes requiring you to reblog or like their page). They just ask you to pay shipping. The scam: The item will turn out to be very low quality and will take weeks or even months to arrive. Sometimes the item never arrives, and the store disappears or stops responding. The seller drop-ships the item from China. The item may only cost a few dollars, and the Chinese government actually pays for the shipping. You end up paying $10-$15 dollars for a $4 item, with the scammer keeping the profit. If you find one of these scams but really have your heart set on the item, you can find it on AliExpress or another Chinese retailer.
Influencer scams
A user will reach out to you on a social media platform, usually Instagram, and offer you the chance to partner with them and receive a free/discounted product, as long as you pay shipping. This is a different version of the dropshipping scam, and is just a marketing technique to get you to buy their products.
Triangulation fraud
Triangulation fraud occurs when you make a purchase on a site like Amazon or eBay for an item at a lower than market price, and receive an item that was clearly purchased new at full price. The scammer uses a stolen credit card to order your item, while the money from the listing is almost all profit for the scammer.
Instagram influencer scams
Someone will message you on Instagram asking you to promote their products, and offering you a discount code. The items are Chinese junk, and the offer is made to many people at a time.
Cheap Items
Many websites pop up and offer expensive products, including electronics, clothes, watches, sunglasses, and shoes at very low prices. The scam: Some sites are selling cheap knock-offs. Some will just take your money and run. What to do if you think you're involved with this scam: Contact your bank or credit card and dispute the charge. How to avoid: The sites often have every brand-name shoe or fashion item (Air Jordan, Yeezy, Gucci, etc) in stock and often at a discounted price. The site will claim to be an outlet for a major brand or even a specific line or item. The site will have images at the bottom claiming to be Secured by Norton or various official payment processors but not actual links. The site will have poor grammar and a mish-mash of categories. Recently, established websites will get hacked or their domain name jacked and turned into scam stores, meaning the domain name of the store will be completely unrelated to the items they're selling. If the deal sounds too good to be true it probably is. Nobody is offering brand new iPhones or Beats or Nintendo Switches for 75% off.
Cheap Amazon 3rd Party Items
You're on Amazon or maybe just Googling for an item and you see it for an unbelievable price from a third-party seller. You know Amazon has your back so you order it. The scam: One of three things usually happen: 1) The seller marks the items as shipped and sends a fake tracking number. Amazon releases the funds to the seller, and the seller disappears. Amazon ultimately refunds your money. 2) The seller immediately cancels the order and instructs you to re-order the item directly from their website, usually with the guarantee that the order is still protected by Amazon. The seller takes your money and runs. Amazon informs you that they do not offer protection on items sold outside of Amazon and cannot help you. 2) The seller immediately cancels the order and instructs you to instead send payment via an unused Amazon gift card by sending the code on the back via email. Once the seller uses the code, the money on the card is gone and cannot be refunded. How to avoid: These scammers can be identified by looking at their Amazon storefronts. They'll be brand new sellers offering a wide range of items at unbelievable prices. Usually their Amazon names will be gibberish, or a variation on FIRSTNAME.LASTNAME. Occasionally however, established storefronts will be hacked. If the deal is too good to be true its most likely a scam.
Scams on eBay
There are scams on eBay targeting both buyers and sellers. As a seller, you should look out for people who privately message you regarding the order, especially if they ask you to ship to a different address or ask to negotiate via text/email/a messaging service. As a buyer you should look out for new accounts selling in-demand items, established accounts selling in-demand items that they have no previous connection to (you can check their feedback history for a general idea of what they bought/sold in the past), and lookout for people who ask you to go off eBay and use another service to complete the transaction. In many cases you will receive a fake tracking number and your money will be help up for up to a month.
Scams on Amazon
There are scams on Amazon targeting both buyers and sellers. As a seller, you should look out for people who message you about a listing. As a buyer you should look out for listings that have an email address for you to contact the person to complete the transaction, and you should look out for cheap listings of in-demand items.
Scams on Reddit
Reddit accounts are frequently purchased and sold by fraudsters who wish to use the high karma count + the age of the account to scam people on buy/sell subreddits. You need to take precautions and be safe whenever you are making a transaction online.
Computer scams
Virus scam
A popup or other ad will say that you have a virus and you need to follow their advice in order to remove it. They are lying, and either want you to install malware or pay for their software.

Assorted scams

Chinese Brushing / direct shipping
If you have ever received an unsolicited small package from China, your address was used to brush. Vendors place fake orders for their own products and send out the orders so that they can increase their ratings.
Money flipping
Scammer claims to be a banking insider who can double/triple/bazoople any amount of money you send them, with no consequences of any kind. Obviously, the money disappears into their wallet the moment you send it.

Door to door scams

As a general rule, you should not engage with door to door salesmen. If you are interested in the product they are selling, check online first.
Selling Magazines
Someone or a group will come to your door and offer to sell a magazine subscription. Often the subscriptions are not for the duration or price you were told, and the magazines will often have tough or impossible cancellation policies.
Energy sales
Somebody will come to your door claiming to be from an energy company. They will ask to see your current energy bill so that they can see how much you pay. They will then offer you a discount if you sign up with them, and promise to handle everything with your old provider. Some of these scammers will "slam" you, by using your account number that they saw on your bill to switch you to their service without authorization, and some will scam you by charging higher prices than the ones you agreed on.
Security system scams
Scammers will come to your door and ask about your security system, and offer to sell you a new one. These scammers are either selling you overpriced low quality products, or are casing your home for a future burglary.
They ask to enter your home
While trying to sell you whatever, they suddenly need to use your bathroom, or they've been writing against the wall and ask to use your table instead. Or maybe they just moved into the neighborhood and want to see how you decorate for ideas.
They're scoping out you and your place. They want to see what valuables you have, how gullible you are, if you have a security system or dogs, etc.

Street scams

Begging With a Purpose
"I just need a few more dollars for the bus," at the bus station, or "I just need $5 to get some gas," at a gas station. There's also a variation where you will be presented with a reward: "I just need money for a cab to get uptown, but I'll give you sports tickets/money/a date/a priceless vase."
Three Card Monte, Also Known As The Shell Game
Unbeatable. The people you see winning are in on the scam.
Drop and Break
You bump into someone and they drop their phone/glasses/fancy bottle of wine/priceless vase and demand you pay them back. In reality, it's a $2 pair of reading glasses/bottle of three-buck-chuck/tasteful but affordable vase.
CD Sales
You're handed a free CD so you can check out the artist's music. They then ask for your name and immediately write it on the CD. Once they've signed your name, they ask you for money, saying they can't give it to someone else now. Often they use dry erase markers, or cheap CD sleeves. Never use any type of storage device given to you by a random person, as the device can contain malware.
White Van Speaker Scam
You're approached and offered speakers/leather jackets/other luxury goods at a discount. The scammer will have an excuse as to why the price is so low. After you buy them, you'll discover that they are worthless.
iPhone Street Sale
You're approached and shown an iPhone for sale, coming in the box, but it's open and you can see the phone. If you buy the phone, you'll get an iPhone box with no iPhone, just some stones or cheap metal in it to weigh it down.
Buddhist Monk Pendant
A monk in traditional garb approaches you, hands you a gold trinket, and asks for a donation. He holds either a notebook with names and amounts of donation (usually everyone else has donated $5+), or a leaflet with generic info. This is fairly common in NYC, and these guys get aggressive quickly.
Friendship Bracelet Scam More common in western Europe, you're approached by someone selling bracelets. They quickly wrap a loop of fabric around your finger and pull it tight, starting to quickly weave a bracelet. The only way to (easily) get it off your hand is to pay. Leftover sales
This scam involves many different items, but the idea is usually the same: you are approached by someone who claims to have a large amount of excess inventory and offers to sell it to you at a great price. The scammer actually has low quality items and will lie to you about the price/origin of the items.
Dent repair scams
Scammers will approach you in public about a dent in your car and offer to fix it for a low price. Often they will claim that they are mechanics. They will not fix the dent in your car, but they will apply large amounts of wax or other substances to hide the dent while they claim that the substance requires time to harden.
Gold ring/jewelry/valuable item scam
A scammer will "find" a gold ring or other valuable item and offers to sell it to you. The item is fake and you will never see the scammer again.
Distraction theft
One person will approach you and distract you, while their accomplice picks your pockets. The distraction can take many forms, but if you are a tourist and are approached in public, watch closely for people getting close to you.

General resources

Site to report scams in the United Kingdom: http://www.actionfraud.police.uk/
Site to report scams in the United States: https://www.ic3.gov/default.aspx
Site to report scams in Canada: www.antifraudcentre-centreantifraude.ca/reportincident-signalerincident/index-eng.htm
Site to report scams in Europe: https://www.europol.europa.eu/report-a-crime/report-cybercrime-online
FTC scam alerts: https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/scam-alerts
Microsoft's anti-scam guide: https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/safety/online-privacy/avoid-phone-scams.aspx
https://www.usa.gov/common-scams-frauds
https://www.usa.gov/scams-and-frauds
https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/features/scam-alerts
https://www.fbi.gov/scams-and-safety/common-fraud-schemes
submitted by EugeneBYMCMB to Scams [link] [comments]


2020.04.20 06:34 removalbot 04-20 04:34 - 'Paxful.com and staff willfully allowing nigerian scammers to launder money' (self.Bitcoin) by /u/PurseV2 removed from /r/Bitcoin within 168-178min

'''
The bulk of paxful trades are gift cards by nigerians and indians. Has paxful staff never questioned how nigerians manage to get usa giftcards considering they do not sell giftcards of such in nigeria. Paxful boasts high volume trades of giftcards bought in the usa from nigeria users yet they do not wander how the nigerians get their cards?
These nigerians scam USA residents through various methods such as online dating scams. They target vulnerable people and Paxful help them to launder thier money. What kind of business model is this? After trading on paxful for less than a month I have realised this. The owners have not realised this in the 5 years they have been open?
I have collected proof and I will be reporting this to news outlets in the near future. From nigerians uploading images of the chats they have with these vulnerable people accidently to them putting their paxful display picture as the person they have scammed.
Paxful is willingfully doing so. They know the source of the giftcards are from scams. Many articles written by Paxful acknowledge the nigerians and indians get their gift cards from "shady sources" but still allow them to be traded on the platfrom. Paxful claims to not allow gift card brokering (the selling of giftcards when you are not the original purchaser). However in their articles they acknowledge usa giftcards cannot be bought in nigeria, most of their trades are from nigerians trading usa giftcards.
Paxful ask for something simple in the event of a disagreement , for a picture of the card with trade chat in the background. Not one of the trades I was involved in a disagreement in was nigerian able to provide the information requested. This is because they cant! They cant ask their victims to do this for them as this would make their victims aware of the scams. Surely if it is a legit money transfer from a USA citizen to a Nigerian the Nigerian could ask their USA counterpart to log into their Paxful and provide the requested information.
I am calling for the investigation of Paxful staff and its CEO Ray Yussef. Many of your staff will be arrested when you are caught. Paxful staff you should consider leaving your job. Going to prison for a company that is making you participate in illegal money laundering will not be worth the prison sentence. I will be forwarding this story to many news outlets. I have collected evidence from trades I have done. Even if I myself am incriminated I will be happy that I have managed to hinder these scammers from bringing misery to hard working people's lives.
I POSTED THIS ORIGINALLY ON THE PAXFUL REDDIT PAGE. I WANT ANSWERS AS TO WHY THEY ALLOW THIS HOWEVER THEY TAKE DOWN ANYTHING THAT DOES NOT SUIT THEIR AGENDAS.
Edit:
[[link]3
This link provides an insight into just how much money laundering is happening on this platform.
[[link]4
^ If we reported the site to the above then maybe we can see a change.
'''
Paxful.com and staff willfully allowing nigerian scammers to launder money
Go1dfish undelete link
unreddit undelete link
Author: PurseV2
1: medium.co*/dl***c/*ax**l-is*the-most-i*p*r**nt*b*tcoin-comp*ny-*o*-*re*t-*ayi*g-attentio*-t**4e69*db*c5ca 2: ww*.sec****/repo**spubs/investor-*ubl*cat*ons*c**plain*s*tml*html 3: medium.c*m/dl*bvc/paxf*l-is-th****st*i*po*ta***bi*c**n-compa*y-y*u-*ren*-payin*-attentio*-to-*e*9*db0c*c*]^^1 4: www.se*.*ov/re**rtsp*bs*investo*-p*bl*cati*n***ompl*int*html.ht*l]*^2
Unknown links are censored to prevent spreading illicit content.
submitted by removalbot to removalbot [link] [comments]


2020.04.14 03:24 KraySounds Top 5 bus booking platforms in Nigeria

Top 5 bus booking platforms in Nigeria
The Agregators for Bus booking in Nigeria are the platforms where anyone can book a bus ticket and reservations from any bus operator while also comparing price, departure time, bus facilities and rating across various transport companies. These platforms are providing a one-stop shop for inter-state transport services in Nigeria, selling convenience to i trees users.
Road or Bus transportation, no doubt, is the most commonly used means of transportation in the world, and also in Nigeria, especially for inter and intra-state movement. Infact According to the Nigerian Gross Domestic Product report for Q1 2018, transportation makes one of the major drivers of finance growth in the non-oil sector of the economy.

https://preview.redd.it/m85iofo5ros41.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=da00f59b89cf822d5c355389e9bca48fdc06a6a3
Road or Bus transportation, no doubt, is the most commonly used means of transportation in the world, and also in Nigeria, especially for inter and intra-state movement. Infact According to the Nigerian Gross Domestic Product report for Q1 2018, transportation makes one of the major drivers of finance growth in the non-oil sector of the economy.
Just as almost every other form of transportation such as Plane and train travels, the Internet is revolutionising and giving more access to road transport service, interstate precisely. In this article, we will be considering Bus Agreegator companies with an online platform or app with which you are just a few clicks away from accessing inter-state transportation services at the utmost convenience and choosefull.

5 Best Interstate Bus Booking platforms in Nigeria

These Companies will not only allow you book bus tickets but also reserve a specific seat as well. So if you are planning a trip from one state to the other within Nigeria or slightly outside the borders (Ghana, togo, etc.), you surely don’t have to visit every terminal in the city, just check any of the providers below.
Well You can always book at the terminals of the companies as well. And the baggage allowance for every of the transport partners of these companies is a medium sized luggage.
  1. Mytrip.ng app
No doubt that Mytrip.ng app is revolutionising how bus tickets are discovered and reserved by Nigerians, as well as the top value solutions offered to help organize their transport operators.
Mytrip.ng is a registered Travel provider company, it appears to be the #1 Interstate Bus Booking app in Nigeria, you can now reserve travel seats anywhere and anytime to about every states in Nigeria, available from the partnerships with various bus operators around Nigerian states.
With the Mytrip.ng android app, one can now conveniently purchase Bus tickets and make reservations online in Nigeria, hence, if you want to make a Bus ticket reservation, then you can easily do that at your convenience by making use of your smartphone that has internet access, make a bus reservation for today, tomorrow and next-tomorrow, isn't that great?
Visit mytrip.ng, click on download the Google playstore and enjoy the new Smartest way to travel around Nigeria.
  1. Busticket.com.ng
Travellers booking for bus tickets on Busticket.com.ng can specifically choose from multiple available choices, a preferred transport company to travel via. You are allowed to compare based on price, departure and ratings of the available transport company. And like the other platform of the likes of Mytrip.ng app, you can also choose your seat specifically. You are advised and allowed to sincerely rate the service after a trip using the rating form on their website.
  1. Oya
Oya.com.ng was initially acquired by Wakanow in 2015 after about 2 years of the company being functional, but from 2015 till date, we can't really say specifically what they have been upto. Oya.com.ng allowed NYSC members to book a bus directly to their camps in their place of primary assignments. This was a robust system that also allows you send cargo through the platform.
  1. Bus.com.ng
With Bus.com.ng, travelers can efficiently search for a bus ride according to their preferred bus terminal of departure and arrival. Aside from the multiple online payment methods available on their site, you could actually pay for a bus ticket at any of the Bus.com.ng outlets and there’s also a travel point for every booked ticket.q
  1. Makeigo.com
This is a travel company in Nigeria with several channels of bus booking. Channels from which you can book for a bus ticket on Makeigo.com includes the website, also can be effectively done at their offices or via the telephone. USSD is one 1of the payment channels accepted on the platform. Makeigo.com efficiently notifies your next of kin 20-30 minutes before you get to your destination, although you can choose to opt out of that notification service.
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2020.04.08 00:56 EricaShmericaOFF Episode 7 Recap

Quarantine length Recap: Before the 90 Days of Our Lives
Big Egg & Rosemarie's Baby: WARNING: The events that occurred in the story below may cause reader loss of appetite, vomiting, and extreme unease. The author takes no responsibility for reporting the herein events.
Back at the hotel, Ed tries to pamper his "Queen" with a romantic, sexy foot massage. He suggests she changes into her pink polyester pjs and the hotel bathrobe, while he does a superhero pose/victory dance that she actually fell for it. Rose comes out to a champagne toast, as Ed busts out the mayo-infused massage oil to shine up her leg hair. He then asks how to say the word kiss in her language, which turns out to be "halik". Rose should have seen where this was going....the whole scene outwardly looked like "To catch a Predator" and I kept waiting for Chris Hansen to barge in. Ed haliked Rose on the lips for 0.3 seconds and proclaimed it was the best.day.everrrrr. The next morning Big Egg woke sunny-side up with his cascading mayo locks, peering over at Rosemarie as she was laying in bed. Big Ed confirmed they enjoyed a passionate evening together with the aide of the champagne and he was excited to do it again. Rosemarie complained that Ed's beard was scratchy on her face, but it just might be the microdermabrasion she needs and goes along with the spa theme of their relationship. On the subject of body hair, Ed mentions that Rosehairy had some Yeti legs going on and they made a shaving pact; her legs for his face. After the sheering commenced, they traveled back to her hometown to meet her family and see where she lives. A disheveled Ed is walking around in that orange shirt like a melting little creamsicle, taking in the sites and scents of former Rosehairy's town. Ed meets Rose's son, Prince, who promptly calls him Daddy, and it's just getting harder to pick out the cringiest part of this episode. The couple walked beyond the CD cover curtain that revealed Rose's entire family shouting "surprise" with a welcome feast. They asked Ed what he thought about the house, which was decorated with floral sheets over cinder blocks, a shabby jail chic style. There were piles of toys and cages with bunnies- Why were there cages of bunnies?!? There were kittens and a rooster invited to dinner (who was invited first, the chicken or Big Egg?) Rose's brother in law was wearing Tania's signature pink t-shirt to show his support for the show. Rose's dad was late to the party, but arrived looking skeptical of poor Ed, sweating buckets. Ed brings up the issue of Rose's sister asking him for money, which I think will be the theme of next week.
Prince Joffrey & Varya: First things first, their intro music is always the best. After a full week of his Russian tour, it's time for Prince Joffrey to head to Siberia to meet the Queen Mum. Varya explains that mom doesn't want her to move to the U.S., which seems like she and Joffrey have a lot in common already. The couple hopped aboard a plane for the 5 hour flight to Siberia. They took a video of themselves in the bathroom, joining the "Mile High Club". I'm impressed that they both fit in an airplane bathroom, and hope they listened to the Trans-Siberian orchestra to get in the mood. On the far drive to the house, Varya asks what present Joffrey is bringing for her mother, which of course the answer is nipple tats. Additionally, he stops to pick weeds from the side of the road, which hopefully she isnt allergic to. They arrive at Varya's mother's apartment and we are introduced to her mom, Larissa, the human crossword puzzle. It was hard to pay attention to the scene, as I was just trying to figure out if there was a hidden message in her mom's dress. Varya described her mom as a traditional, tough Siberian woman, which I pictured more like someone from Game of Thrones, House Starke. But alas, there was no wolf pelt jacket, pet tigers or even a siberian husky.......only a nice lady with an alphabet dress and meat dumplings. Varya's mom must've done her Google homework on Joffrey, as she seemed concerned for Varya's safety. Looks like next week is confession time for Joffrey, as hes about to come clean about his criminal past to Varya. Do you know the traditional way to say "goodbye" in Siberia? Znippletatz.
BGL & Assman: Meanwhile, back at the Sokoto Motor Murder Lodge....... BGL is alone in the Chalet suite and annoyed, yet again, since Assman left her for way too long while walking his friend out. It seems as though Assman has hit a breaking point with his babylove and doesn't want to feel like he's on lockdown with her (good thing it wasn't Coronavirus time yet). Babygirl listens, scowling, while Sojaboy suggests that maybe they go their separate ways. I can see where BGL is frustrated and confused. I think she's analyzing their relationship like Dwight Schrute: 1. "I'll be there for you" FALSE. You were outside with your friend for 34 minutes and left me alone
2."I'll say a prayer for you" FALSE. You just said I was not God.
  1. "I'll shave my leg hair for you" FALSE. That was Rose In the next scene, BGL is alone, after Sojaboy took off into the night. I think she needs to take a nice, cold bucket shower and relax. He returns at 2am Sokoto time to discuss their argument and his valid concerns about Babygirl trying to control him. With his hookah in hand, he tells her that he respects her as a person, but they can't be fighting all day 'erry day. He fears that his life will be like "Misery" in the U.S. with his Babygurl Kathy Bates calling the shots. BGL explains that she's just tired from traveling and sleeping on box springs and inhaling second hand hookah. They seemed to have made up for now, and it looks like there will be a goat purchase next week. Can't wait.
Darcey and Tomfoolery: Darcey, leaving her 80 lbs of overnight luggage with the hostess, glided into the lounge and snubbed Tom's kiss greeting, only allowing a handshake. (That's the kind of passive-aggressive shade I'm into!!). Tom scoffs, and awkwardly stares at her, unsure of where to start the conversation. Darcey makes chit chat, before going in for the digs, making comments about his lack of enthusiasm on her 15th birthday (I mean 45th) and his lack of correspondence. She's doing a lot of fast blinking, teeth clenching, hair twirling and ambivalent shrugging. Tom asks what happened to their relationship, which caused minor puddles to form in her eyes. But Darcey heard her inner voice say "you be strong, bitch", and hung in. Tom goes on to say that Darcey is emotionally unavailable towards him, while she accused him of trying to hide the other woman he neglected to mention. He admits he met someone who loves him the way he needs to be loved, then drones on to say that Darcey talked about her past relationship with Jesse too much, which is an illusion. He says he loves Darcey like Peppa Pig, aka his sister, to which she says shes done, to which he says try not to ruin the next one, to which she says "Check, please! I'll buy his coffee", like a boss. They continued making high school jabs until Tom pulled the ultimate jerk move and asked if she had gained weight. Darcey finally got up and left, lugging her rock collection along in her suitcase. There was an appropriate amount of crying afterwards and I was proud of her. This storyline is 100% categorically done and dusted.
The NewYork State of Health Guy in the commercials in between: What a creep. He keeps telling me to wash my hands but like a "perp"on SVU.....oh wait. I'm not supposed to be recapping him...
Stephanie & Erika not Shmerika: The girls are off to their day date plans of crafting with their boobies. The objective was to make a literal bust of each others busts and then decorate it with paint and sparkles. Though I loved everything about the studio decor and the instructor, the project itself was a bit odd, if for no other reason than where would one display that afterwards? Stephanie felt uncomfortable getting to second base in front of the other crafters and cameras. When asked by another boobie-crafter about their future plans of being together, Erika didn't sound too keen on picking up and moving any time soon. This seemed like news to Stephanie, though you assume they would have talked about this before. After they cleaned off their plaster boobs, the girls got dressed up and went for a fancy dinner. Stephanie got Erika a "hair vine" accessory as a gift so she could feel like a princess. (She probably would've preferred a fun colored platic/rhinestone tiara from Claire's). At dinner, Stephanie brought up the fact that she's more prude in person than she appears online, and she was also feeling "uncomfortable" about seeing a dating app on Erika's phone. Erika deletes the app, though she claims to only be using it for business, and storms out of the restaurant leaving her hair accessory behind. She feels like Stephanie is taking control lessons from the BGL handbook. You know what I think? Where are the damn koalas already???!!
Yolander, party of one, Yolander: Are we still doing this? We've been watching this woman pretend to book a plane ticket for over a month, but this time she was wearing saltine crackers on her ears. (Maybe they were matzah for Passover tomorrow night?) After getting everyone in the mood for cheese and crackers....we watched Yolander's daughter Karra deliver the hard truth that Williams is infact Sojaboy. Yolander is in complete disbelief that her British bombshell is actually a Nigerian scammer after receiving an email trying to extort money in exchange for her provocative photos. I mean, at this point, who even cares anymore. I think the fact that she thought this man was British is more embarrassing than any nude photo. Let's be done with Yolander, please/thanks.
Avery & Ashtray: Avery is pleased with her internet boyfriend, despite the interview last week with his brother, Jafar. She and Ashtray set off on a "couples retreat" to tropical northern Australia. They went on a beach side picnic to discuss their relationship and Avery brought up some concerns. She wants to know the truth about meeting his ex wife and his son, without his rehearsed relationship coach mumbo jumbo. Hopefully they'll be able to enjoy their vacation and someone will pet a damn koala.
Missing this week was David, who may actually be missing since he's driving on some dangerous road in the Ukraine to meet his imaginary friend.
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2020.03.18 02:19 EricaShmericaOFF Before the 90 Days of Our Lives Recap, episode 4

Prince Joffrey & Varya: Joffrey woke up all by his lonesome in his Russian hotel room, then met Varya in the lobby as his tour guide for the day. They toured the "Red Square" in Moscow, to which Joffey proclaimed that "We don't have anything like this in America!", because I guess he thought there would just be a Target and a Walgreens or something. They held hands, kissed, and Varya jumped up and down a lot. They were getting along so well, that Varya decided to give in to staying with Joffrey at the hotel that night. The next morning, Joffrey is looking all Quagmire and discussing their giggidty from the night before. This is where the star of the show comes onscreen..........the nipple tats. Are they bear claws using the nipple as the center? Are they wonky eyelashes that Darcey just can't seem to keep on? Are they a ray of a tribal sun orbiting the central areola? Did he get them in jail? Lost a bet? I can't look away, and can't stop thinking why he was so confident in unleashing these bad boys to an international audience. I mean the other tattoos were just horrible, but these were in a category of their own. I did not pay attention to the details of their conversation about visiting Varya's hometown, because Nipple Tats. I was hoping that he also had a tattoo of dolphins encircling his belly button, but no such luck. Ok, I'll move on..... While Varya was blow drying her hair for 3 1/2 years with one of those crappy hotel hair dryers, she got very jealous over seeing another woman's name "engraved" on Joffrey's comb. (Note to Varya, Joffrey was not married to "Sally Beauty Supply", they just stamp that on all of the combs in the factory in China. Your psycho is showing). Maybe they're well matched after all! I mean if a comb bothers you but the nipple tats left you unphased...... The couple heads to Varya's hometown so Joffrey can see how she lives. Varya owns her apartment, which reminded Joffrey of his nipple tats. I mean, his time in prison. Between the exposed wiring and lack of a sink, she seems to be living in a Fixer Upper before demo day. Joffrey starts getting suspicious that Varya has an ultimate goal of coming to the U.S., being that she's living in shambles without any urgency in completing her project house, and thinks she's banking on moving to America with him eventhough they've only been online dating for 3 months. He's feeling very skeptical, as they unfold the leopard pull out couch to go to bed. Nipple tats.
BGL & Assman: Ok, sometimes to do these recaps I have to watch an episode or segment up to 3 times to actually pay attention. All I'm going to say, is I better start getting paid, because it's going to cost a lot in therapy to forget about the things from this week. That being said..... This week opened with BGL and Assman's first morning together as a solidified couple in Nigeria. Their "pillow talk" consisted of Usman being tired, and Babylove calling him lazy. BGL explains that Assman was inexperienced in the realm of oral passion, and she had to teach him the ways. This is when I went into Usman's home bathroom to retrieve the third bucket reserved for vomit...... Sojaboy-toy described their love-making as "70% good, and that's good enough" (Between him and Azan I'm trying to figure out why men from Africa describe things in percentages). And if all of this wasn't enough, BGL has to reiterate her "no condom use" theme by taking a few useless packs of condoms given to her by her friends out of her dusty beat up suitcase,(no judgement there, mine is always covered in dog hair), while the camera panned over her sanitary napkin and mullet dress. She brought up the condomless evening to Sojaboy, who agreed it was a wild time. Next stop on the vomit train was a Nigerian breakfast with the new Goofballs, which consisted of miscellaneous meat, fish, spaghetti, and pancakes. They discuss meeting Sojamom and the difficulties they may have in getting her blessings for marriage. Apparently mother Assman thinks this evil older white lady is bringing her son to the U.S. as a slave, when in reality, she's just trying to have him live in her house, boss him around, make him go "downtown", and take over his music "career". She's way off! BGL ignores the warnings of the Newfballs (my new name for the new goofballs), and is angry that Assman isn't fighting against all odds for their 70% good love. The couple is accompanied by the Newfballs on their way to Kaduna to experience a day in the life of Superstar Sojaboy. BGL is packing up her dusty bags, and heading out of the hotel like Miss America with her flower bouquet and teddybear. Meanwhile, Assman's cell phone is blowing up, and babygirl Lisa is suspicious, as she should be (Yolanda keeps calling to see where he is!). She arrives at the house, thinking it's going to be something out of MTV Cribs, and is shocked to see the tight knit sleeping arrangements, poop buckets, and wobbly toilets. (My new favorite detail was that the wobbly toilet had a fuzzy decorative toilet seat cover? I bet girly Usman put that on there). Sojaboy confessed to his squad that he can already tell BGL is more difficult in person than he expected. He seems apprehensive to introduce her to the music industry bigwigs of Kaduna in next week's episode, though I personally can not wait.
Big Egg & Rosemarie's Baby: The cab lands at the hotel in Manila where Ed and Rosemarie will be spending their first night together. Rosemarie has never had a slumber party, and forgot her pajamas. While Ed was in the bathroom possibly doing a mayo treatment, Rose was pulling the covers up so she just looked like the girl from "the Grudge", and pretending she was "fake sleeping" worse than a toddler. Ed was under the impression they would stay up hanging out, watching t.v. and talking, but Rose was fake exhausted from faking understanding Ed's jokes all day, so the King and Queen went to bed. The next morning they woke up and Ed hand fed Rose cornflakes from their room service like she was a goat at the petting zoo. Rose complained that Ed blasted the A.C. at night, which is a fight I can relate to. They stepped out of the hotel with Ed's neon sneakers and hit the streets of Manila for some shopping. Big Egg turned into an omelette from the heat within the first 30 minutes, leaking Hollandaise stains all over his shirt. Rose was grabbing money from Ed's wallet and giving away his change, causing Eggie to have a literal meltdown. I still at this juncture really like Ed and look forward to next week, when he pulls a Paul and asks Rose to take an STD test.
Avery & Ashtray: It's the big day- Avery has landed in Melbourne and is meeting Ashole for the very first time. They seemed to be genuinely happy and compatible at the airport, though JackAsh's eyes were wild like he just snorted something. The Zoolander caliber couple set off on the wrong side of the road, holding each other's well-moisturized hands to head to their Air Bnb. Avery claims she wants to stay in different bedrooms so their spirits can connect first, though she loved her black funeral roses from Ashtray's shady florist. Ashole is obviously a narcissist and it seems like every time he talks about Avery, he only mentions how much she loves him. Cant wait to see them pee in the ocean. together....
David & the 1992 Ladies of Ukraine Calendar: I, for one, have been excited to meet David, a 60 year old man from Las Vegas with fabulous 1980s dad hair. His ambitions include traveling the country in an RV, and randomly selling vintage unicycles on the black market out of his garage while demonstrating his sweet cycling skills set to French music (how did this even come up? Do you think production asked him to write down 10 of the most random things about himself and riding a unicycle was one of them??). Also amidst the randomness and a guiding factor for his dating life, was his childhood obsession with Boris and Natasha. Something about that Vampire voice and flat head really does it for him. He has been in a virtual relationship for 7 years with his 27 year old Ukranian beauty, Lana, who he only communicates with over a very expensive paid chat site. Nothing fishy here! (Sidenote: I do a great Natasha impression and will chat for $1.50/minute, if you're listening Dave!). Dave's friends voiced their concern that this woman is taking advantage of him, but it just falls on dead ears. (Every couple on the show has to have at least one intervention with friends). We got to accompany Dave and Lana on a virtual picnic at a local park, where Lana sent several intriguing emojis in regards to their upcoming meeting. He then reveals that they have "intimate" chats, with even sexier emojis, which cost much more than my offer. Dave also has a video chat with Anya, a former Ukrainian fling, who he now considers a close friend. She is skeptical that Lana will not show, seeing as how she has stood Dave up the last 3 times he went to the Ukraine. Seems like he has a few ladies in his Ukrainian stable, and if the 4th time isn't a charm, he can always chit chat with Maria (or Natalie, if he's into Fatal Attraction). Let's hope Dave can soon trade in his unicycle for a bicycle built for two.
Stephanie & Erika not Shmerika: S & E are excitedly chatting about the upcoming visit to the land of Oz, while her adorable pug looked on. Erika hopes Stephanie gets along well with her friends while in town, and has a bunch of fun things planned. Stephanie packed up some cute outfits along with lots of antibiotics in preparation for her trip. Nothing crazy to report yet again, but I'm hoping there are koalas in her future.
Darcey, just Darcey: Darcey, Stacey, and their friend are relaxing at a spa, day drinking fancy mimosas, and rehashing delusions. There seem to be so many pointless episodes leading up to the pointless meeting of Darcey and Tom, who are not even dating. I'd rather watch her run on the treadmill again for like 10 minutes. Its pretty amazing that most of the couples on the show have to save up and get the chance to meet their significant other, and then men Darcey isn't even dating fly in just to say they're done but appreciate her. Anyway, I'm guessing this episode was about mimosas, and "Girl Power". You know they just want Darcey on to poke fun at her. They may as well dissolve the relationship storyline and film her at the DMV, or a PTA meeting, or on the phone with AT&T. All would be more interesting than what is currently happening.
Missing this week was Yolander, who looks like she'll be returning next week. Missing permanently is William's, who doesnt exist.
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